Creating a Husband and Wife
Session 2 (Audio Only)
Welcome back to "God's Design for Marriage" - Session 2.
REVIEW
Let's begin with some review from the last session. Remember the problem will NEVER be that God can't strengthen, and heal and restore our marriages. The problem will most often be that our SELF-WILL stands in the way. Most often, when we find ourselves in opposition to God's design, it will be because we've chosen self-will over God's will.
SELF-WILL is the PROBLEM - GOD'S WILL is the ANSWER
If self-will over God's will is the problem then the answer must be to crucify our self-will and walk in God's will. We're going to start this session with an umbrella truth about how we crucify self-will and walk in God's will.
The process of crucifying self-will and walking in God’s will is:
That is how a Christian is transformed, and that is how a Christian marriage is transformed.
As we learn to daily surrender to Jesus Christ as our Lord and as we learn to daily walk in the power of the Holy Spirit, then God will transform us from a self-willed life, to a God willed life, and the result of our personal transformation will be a TRANSFORMED MARRIAGE.
A daily surrender to Jesus Christ as our Lord and a daily walk in the power of the Holy Spirit brings TRANSFORMATION.
We will be talking about this daily surrender and daily walking in the Holy Spirit as we go through these sessions, and I’ll also be pointing you to other valuable resources.
In this area of personal transformation, which we all desperately need for our marriages to be transformed, I want to suggest:
"Be Ye Transformed: Understanding God's Truth" By Chuck and Nancy Missler
Romans 12:2 (ESV) says, Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.
That's the basis for this study by Chuck and Nancy Missler. I know you must be thinking you've got a lot of homework already. But just make a note of it. And if you would say "Yeah, I need to know how to do that!" Then you’ll have your next study all lined up.
THIS SESSION
We're heading to the key scripture we'll be using for much of this study. It's in Genesis 2, but before we get to our key scripture, we've got to back up a bit to get the context.
Genesis Chapters 2, 3, and 4 are actually an expansion of the creation events listed in Chapter 1. They take us through the details of the creation of mankind and the fall. So, let's start with a list of creation from Genesis Chapter 1, and we'll see how that leads up to our key verse on marriage.
In this list, I want you to focus on the fact that after every part of creation - God said "It was good."
God’s Creation Design
Wait a minute - for the first time in the creation process, when God created Adam, he said something was "NOT good." Does that mean God fixed that mistake when He created Eve? No! God said it was not good because God was not finished yet.
Mankind was a work in progress, and only HALF of mankind was created so far. Let's read the whole verse:
Genesis 2:18 (NLT)
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”
Now, let's look at those words - JUST RIGHT.
The ESV says "FIT" for him (as in "Fit Together")
The NJKV says "COMPARABLE" to him
The Hebrew word used here is not easy to translate - it means, most literally, according to the opposite. Isn't that interesting? Have you ever heard the phrase "Opposites attract?"
I think the ESV comes closest to the picture of what this word means when it says "I will make a helper FIT for him."
The best picture I can give you of this word is a puzzle and a piece. The definition "according to the opposite," in essence, means; where the puzzle is cut out, the piece is cut in, and where the puzzle is cut in, the piece is cut out. So, when you put the puzzle and piece together, they fit perfectly.
This phrase "just right" (NLT) or "fit" (ESV) actually applies to how God made both the puzzle and the piece. God made the puzzle with cut-outs and cut-ins, then He made the piece with the opposite cut-outs and cut-ins, and He made them fit perfectly together.
When we talk about God making a companion that is just right for us, we're talking about both the puzzle that is just right for the piece and the piece that is just right for the puzzle.
You're going to see this come alive in just a minute. But first, God had to show Adam that no other companion fit his need. And so, God brings all the animals to Adam for him to name them, but in the process, God is actually proving his puzzle and piece design to Adam.
Genesis 2:19–20 (NLT)
19 So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one.
20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
There's that phrase again - JUST RIGHT. That's the same Hebrew word we just dealt with in verse 18 (look back at it).
God proved to Adam, his need for a "just right" companion - one that was made to fit him perfectly, and naming ALL the animals PROVED this to Adam - because obviously none of them fit him.
Finishing the Design Work for Mankind
So now God was going to finish His "Design Work" for mankind, and let's watch very carefully - HOW Adam got his wife.
First, God made Adam UNCONSCIOUS. Then God formed Adam’s wife JUST RIGHT for him (to fit him.) Then God BROUGHT Adam’s wife to him!
Genesis 2:21–22 (NLT)
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening.
22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
This is the Creator of marriage at work - and here's how He does it:
1) He takes Adam out of the picture
2) He forms Adam's wife to perfectly fit him
3) He brings his wife to him
Here is the question we MUST answer; Is God still powerful enough to do this today?
Is the SAME GOD who made Adam's wife to FIT him JUST RIGHT still the SAME GOD that makes husbands and wives ‘fit together’ today?
Do you believe God is powerful enough to create you and your spouse to FIT JUST RIGHT together?
Now, if you are having problems in your marriage right now, you MAY be saying ... "Yeah, God's powerful enough, but maybe He made a mistake with us.”
Remember, you're talking about God's SOVEREIGNTY and God's OMNIPOTENCE. The subjects of God's sovereignty and omnipotence are about God's ABSOLUTE ABILITY to direct and orchestrate events to bring about His sovereign (and good) plan.
Here are two more questions to help you:
1) What does God have sovereign control over?
2) What is God powerful enough to do?
If you are having trouble in your marriage, or if you have been divorced, the next question is going to be hard to answer, but I am not asking you how you feel, and I’m not asking you about decisions you've made in the past, I'm asking you what you believe about God!
Do you believe God is sovereign enough and powerful enough to bring you the "JUST RIGHT" spouse that He created for you?
Again, I'm not asking you about the details of your present situation - I'm asking what you believe.
God's design for marriage is absolutely founded on what you believe about God. And so, the question is about what you believe!
Now, our free will and God's sovereign power are somehow BOTH at work in our lives, and I realize this is a complicated discussion.
I realize there are issues of sinful choices, non-believers and especially issues of abuse. I KNOW there are exceptions and issues and details. But I need you to DECIDE what you BELIEVE about God!
Again, the question is; Do you BELIEVE God is sovereign enough and powerful enough to bring you the "JUST RIGHT" spouse He created for you?
Keep that PUZZLE and PIECE picture in your mind, and let's look at another key phrase in verse 21.
Genesis 2:21 (NLT)
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening.
Why did God take out a piece of the man to make the woman... was he all out of dirt? He made MAN from dirt, he made the ANIMALS from dirt, why didn't he make the WOMAN from dirt?
The Hebrew word for "TOOK OUT" means literally - "TO CARVE OUT to LEAVE SOMETHING MISSING."
In a very intentional action - God "carved out" a piece of man to purposefully leave something missing from him, and in doing so He made it so neither Adam nor Eve would be complete without the other.
The PUZZLE is NOT complete without the PIECE, and the PIECE is NOT complete without the PUZZLE.
That is the miraculous design of God to fully complete mankind.
The same God who perfectly designed the first husband and wife to “fit” one another “just right” can perfectly design you and your spouse to “fit” one another “just right.”
Look again at verse 22:
Genesis 2:22 (NLT)
22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
After naming all the animals and realizing there was no ‘fit’ for him - when Adam saw Eve, we read:
Genesis 2:23 (NLT)
23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! (she’s my ‘missing piece’) She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’
Adam understood immediately that Eve FIT Him. He knew she had been custom designed for Him. And here again, we see that phrase "taken from man," meaning that Adam understood that God had left a VOID in him, that ONLY the wife God gave him could FILL. So, Adam exclaims "AT LAST!! Here is my missing piece!"
That is how God designed a husband and wife to "fit together" - like two pieces of a puzzle - both incomplete without the other.
RESPONSE TIME
Now that we have the whole creation picture let's do a response time. Remember - response is done looking at your SPOUSE.
When you respond to your spouse
1) Look right into their Eyes
2) Restate the question as a Commitment
3) Be Honest (in love) regarding the level of Commitment you are willing to make right now.
This first response IS NOT - "ARE you fitting 'JUST RIGHT' together right now?"
FIRST RESPONSE QUESTION
Do you believe God is powerful enough to create you and your spouse to fit just right together? (re-state this as a commitment to your spouse)
In this second question, I’m not asking you if your marriage SEEMS right, or if it seems like you FIT RIGHT together. I'm asking if you believe GOD IS ABLE?
SECOND RESPONSE QUESTION
Is God Sovereign enough to have brought you the 'JUST RIGHT' spouse He created to FIT you?" (re-state this as a commitment to your spouse)
For the rest of this series, we're going to be talking about what God is ABLE to do in your marriage.
But, if you don't believe He is POWERFUL enough, then you'll leave this series with the same marriage you came with.
And so, finally . . .
Our Foundation Verse for God's Design for Marriage
Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
24 Therefore . . .
That's an important word - THEREFORE... It means:
Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast (cleave) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
This is how God designed marriage: a man shall LEAVE his father and mother, and CLEAVE (hold fast) to his wife and they shall BECOME one flesh. Which is perfectly illustrated in the "puzzle and piece" illustration.
THAT is God's design!!
It is difficult for me to convey the extreme importance of this one verse in understanding God' design for marriage. This is the foundation verse of God's design for marriage.
And by the way - though it says "a man" must "leave" and "cleave" - it applies equally to the women as well.
There must be LEAVING and CLEAVING on BOTH parts for the TWO to become ONE FLESH.
Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast (cleave) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 is called the "Genesis Command for Marriage."
The COMMAND is - Leave - Cleave - Become One Flesh
SESSION TWO M.I.P. (MOST IMPORTANT POINT)
Every major problem you will ever face in your marriage can be traced back to some conflict with these three commands in Genesis 2:24: Leave – Cleave – Become One Flesh
I promise you - in EVERY major marital problem - someone is not LEAVING, or someone is not CLEAVING, and the by-product is that they are not becoming ONE FLESH.
And so, the marriage is disjointed, dysfunctional, and missing out on the greatest possible blessing of God in marriage.
No one has ever been able to really explain ALL that it means for GOD to make two opposite individuals into "one flesh." Two individuals merging into one new identity.
Becoming one flesh is a love relationship so deep, so pure, so intimate that it is patterned after the supernatural union of Jesus Christ and the Church. He is our Bridegroom, and we are His Bride.
God's miraculous design for your marriage is for you and your spouse to become "one flesh," and the process of how to do that is laid out in Genesis 2:24.
Let me give you some support for just how big this verse is.
Dr. Ed Wheat, an MD and marriage counselor who’s written numerous books on Biblical marriage - He says this:
“[Genesis 2:24] remains the most concise and comprehensive counseling session ever presented on marriage . . . These 22 words sum up the entire teaching of scripture on marriage. All else that is said emphasizes or amplifies the 3 fundamental principles originated here, but never changes them in the slightest . . . any real problem you face in marriage will come from ignoring some aspect of God’s Genesis commandment.”
Bob Hoekstra - a respected authority on Biblical Counseling - says this in his “Family God's Way” series:
Violating the principals in this verse cause most marriage problems. If either spouse does not completely do this, there is a time-bomb ticking, and if not corrected, it will eventually bring disaster.
Remember - Session one's M.I.P;
It is the refusal to crucify self-will that is at the root of EVERY marriage problem.
In this key verse (Genesis 2:24) we have (in a practical sense) how the "ROOT" of all marriage problems "works itself out."
The “root” of self-will “works itself out” in:
And the result will be - they are NOT becoming ONE FLESH, at least in some area of their marriage. And if you are not becoming "one flesh" in ANY area of your marriage, you will have problems - because you will be in conflict with God's Design.
And you will continue to have problems;
Is the strong emphasis on the Genesis Command a NEW thought to you?
Can you think of any major marriage problem that would NOT fall under one the three key steps in Genesis 2:24?
REVIEW
So, this session we have done TWO things:
1) We’ve seen how God CREATED a husband and wife to Fit “JUST RIGHT” together
2) We’ve seen the FOUNDATION for how God designed our marriages to work; Leaving, Cleaving, and Becoming One Flesh
We have already responded to whether we believe God is able to make us to FIT together "JUST RIGHT" and whether God is able to bring us together through his sovereignty.
We'll close this session by asking you to PRAY together. But when I say PRAY together - I mean - you PRAY, BOTH of you.
This is called DIRECTED PRAYER, and here's how it works; I want you to take a moment to LOOK at Genesis 2:24, absorb it, and then I’d like you to pray for your marriage, according to Genesis 2:24. I realize this may be difficult, so just do the best you can.
Here is the subject of your prayer:
Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast (cleave) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Read it, absorb it a minute, then face each other, look at this verse - and PRAY according to this verse.
Father God, thank you that you help us do the hard things. Thank you that you are powerful and sovereign and desiring to strengthen and restore our marriages. Give us the courage to stay and fight for our marriage. Give us the courage to be challenged by your Word and be convicted to pray together. Inspire us, Lord, to crucify our self-will and to choose your will alone for our marriage. In Jesus' precious name, amen.
And now, your homework for this week . . .
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD HOMEWORK
REVIEW
Let's begin with some review from the last session. Remember the problem will NEVER be that God can't strengthen, and heal and restore our marriages. The problem will most often be that our SELF-WILL stands in the way. Most often, when we find ourselves in opposition to God's design, it will be because we've chosen self-will over God's will.
SELF-WILL is the PROBLEM - GOD'S WILL is the ANSWER
If self-will over God's will is the problem then the answer must be to crucify our self-will and walk in God's will. We're going to start this session with an umbrella truth about how we crucify self-will and walk in God's will.
The process of crucifying self-will and walking in God’s will is:
- Our daily surrender to Jesus Christ as our Lord
- Our daily walking in the power of the Holy Spirit
That is how a Christian is transformed, and that is how a Christian marriage is transformed.
As we learn to daily surrender to Jesus Christ as our Lord and as we learn to daily walk in the power of the Holy Spirit, then God will transform us from a self-willed life, to a God willed life, and the result of our personal transformation will be a TRANSFORMED MARRIAGE.
A daily surrender to Jesus Christ as our Lord and a daily walk in the power of the Holy Spirit brings TRANSFORMATION.
We will be talking about this daily surrender and daily walking in the Holy Spirit as we go through these sessions, and I’ll also be pointing you to other valuable resources.
In this area of personal transformation, which we all desperately need for our marriages to be transformed, I want to suggest:
"Be Ye Transformed: Understanding God's Truth" By Chuck and Nancy Missler
Romans 12:2 (ESV) says, Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.
That's the basis for this study by Chuck and Nancy Missler. I know you must be thinking you've got a lot of homework already. But just make a note of it. And if you would say "Yeah, I need to know how to do that!" Then you’ll have your next study all lined up.
THIS SESSION
We're heading to the key scripture we'll be using for much of this study. It's in Genesis 2, but before we get to our key scripture, we've got to back up a bit to get the context.
Genesis Chapters 2, 3, and 4 are actually an expansion of the creation events listed in Chapter 1. They take us through the details of the creation of mankind and the fall. So, let's start with a list of creation from Genesis Chapter 1, and we'll see how that leads up to our key verse on marriage.
In this list, I want you to focus on the fact that after every part of creation - God said "It was good."
God’s Creation Design
- Gen 1:4 – God made the light and said “It was good.”
- Gen 1:10 – God made the seas and the land and said “It was good.”
- Gen 1:12 – God made the grass, plants, trees and said “It was good.”
- Gen 1:18 – God made the sun and the moon and said “It was good.”
- Gen 1:20 – God made sea creatures and birds and said “It was good.”
- Gen 1:24 – God made the land animals and said “It was good.”
- Gen 1:26 - God made Man and placed him in the Garden of Eden.
- Then, in Gen 2:18 – for the first time in the creation record God says “It is NOT good.”
Wait a minute - for the first time in the creation process, when God created Adam, he said something was "NOT good." Does that mean God fixed that mistake when He created Eve? No! God said it was not good because God was not finished yet.
Mankind was a work in progress, and only HALF of mankind was created so far. Let's read the whole verse:
Genesis 2:18 (NLT)
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”
Now, let's look at those words - JUST RIGHT.
The ESV says "FIT" for him (as in "Fit Together")
The NJKV says "COMPARABLE" to him
The Hebrew word used here is not easy to translate - it means, most literally, according to the opposite. Isn't that interesting? Have you ever heard the phrase "Opposites attract?"
I think the ESV comes closest to the picture of what this word means when it says "I will make a helper FIT for him."
The best picture I can give you of this word is a puzzle and a piece. The definition "according to the opposite," in essence, means; where the puzzle is cut out, the piece is cut in, and where the puzzle is cut in, the piece is cut out. So, when you put the puzzle and piece together, they fit perfectly.
This phrase "just right" (NLT) or "fit" (ESV) actually applies to how God made both the puzzle and the piece. God made the puzzle with cut-outs and cut-ins, then He made the piece with the opposite cut-outs and cut-ins, and He made them fit perfectly together.
When we talk about God making a companion that is just right for us, we're talking about both the puzzle that is just right for the piece and the piece that is just right for the puzzle.
You're going to see this come alive in just a minute. But first, God had to show Adam that no other companion fit his need. And so, God brings all the animals to Adam for him to name them, but in the process, God is actually proving his puzzle and piece design to Adam.
Genesis 2:19–20 (NLT)
19 So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one.
20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
There's that phrase again - JUST RIGHT. That's the same Hebrew word we just dealt with in verse 18 (look back at it).
God proved to Adam, his need for a "just right" companion - one that was made to fit him perfectly, and naming ALL the animals PROVED this to Adam - because obviously none of them fit him.
Finishing the Design Work for Mankind
So now God was going to finish His "Design Work" for mankind, and let's watch very carefully - HOW Adam got his wife.
First, God made Adam UNCONSCIOUS. Then God formed Adam’s wife JUST RIGHT for him (to fit him.) Then God BROUGHT Adam’s wife to him!
Genesis 2:21–22 (NLT)
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening.
22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
This is the Creator of marriage at work - and here's how He does it:
1) He takes Adam out of the picture
2) He forms Adam's wife to perfectly fit him
3) He brings his wife to him
Here is the question we MUST answer; Is God still powerful enough to do this today?
Is the SAME GOD who made Adam's wife to FIT him JUST RIGHT still the SAME GOD that makes husbands and wives ‘fit together’ today?
Do you believe God is powerful enough to create you and your spouse to FIT JUST RIGHT together?
Now, if you are having problems in your marriage right now, you MAY be saying ... "Yeah, God's powerful enough, but maybe He made a mistake with us.”
Remember, you're talking about God's SOVEREIGNTY and God's OMNIPOTENCE. The subjects of God's sovereignty and omnipotence are about God's ABSOLUTE ABILITY to direct and orchestrate events to bring about His sovereign (and good) plan.
Here are two more questions to help you:
1) What does God have sovereign control over?
2) What is God powerful enough to do?
If you are having trouble in your marriage, or if you have been divorced, the next question is going to be hard to answer, but I am not asking you how you feel, and I’m not asking you about decisions you've made in the past, I'm asking you what you believe about God!
Do you believe God is sovereign enough and powerful enough to bring you the "JUST RIGHT" spouse that He created for you?
Again, I'm not asking you about the details of your present situation - I'm asking what you believe.
God's design for marriage is absolutely founded on what you believe about God. And so, the question is about what you believe!
Now, our free will and God's sovereign power are somehow BOTH at work in our lives, and I realize this is a complicated discussion.
I realize there are issues of sinful choices, non-believers and especially issues of abuse. I KNOW there are exceptions and issues and details. But I need you to DECIDE what you BELIEVE about God!
Again, the question is; Do you BELIEVE God is sovereign enough and powerful enough to bring you the "JUST RIGHT" spouse He created for you?
Keep that PUZZLE and PIECE picture in your mind, and let's look at another key phrase in verse 21.
Genesis 2:21 (NLT)
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening.
Why did God take out a piece of the man to make the woman... was he all out of dirt? He made MAN from dirt, he made the ANIMALS from dirt, why didn't he make the WOMAN from dirt?
The Hebrew word for "TOOK OUT" means literally - "TO CARVE OUT to LEAVE SOMETHING MISSING."
In a very intentional action - God "carved out" a piece of man to purposefully leave something missing from him, and in doing so He made it so neither Adam nor Eve would be complete without the other.
The PUZZLE is NOT complete without the PIECE, and the PIECE is NOT complete without the PUZZLE.
That is the miraculous design of God to fully complete mankind.
The same God who perfectly designed the first husband and wife to “fit” one another “just right” can perfectly design you and your spouse to “fit” one another “just right.”
Look again at verse 22:
Genesis 2:22 (NLT)
22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
After naming all the animals and realizing there was no ‘fit’ for him - when Adam saw Eve, we read:
Genesis 2:23 (NLT)
23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! (she’s my ‘missing piece’) She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’
Adam understood immediately that Eve FIT Him. He knew she had been custom designed for Him. And here again, we see that phrase "taken from man," meaning that Adam understood that God had left a VOID in him, that ONLY the wife God gave him could FILL. So, Adam exclaims "AT LAST!! Here is my missing piece!"
That is how God designed a husband and wife to "fit together" - like two pieces of a puzzle - both incomplete without the other.
RESPONSE TIME
Now that we have the whole creation picture let's do a response time. Remember - response is done looking at your SPOUSE.
When you respond to your spouse
1) Look right into their Eyes
2) Restate the question as a Commitment
3) Be Honest (in love) regarding the level of Commitment you are willing to make right now.
This first response IS NOT - "ARE you fitting 'JUST RIGHT' together right now?"
FIRST RESPONSE QUESTION
Do you believe God is powerful enough to create you and your spouse to fit just right together? (re-state this as a commitment to your spouse)
In this second question, I’m not asking you if your marriage SEEMS right, or if it seems like you FIT RIGHT together. I'm asking if you believe GOD IS ABLE?
SECOND RESPONSE QUESTION
Is God Sovereign enough to have brought you the 'JUST RIGHT' spouse He created to FIT you?" (re-state this as a commitment to your spouse)
For the rest of this series, we're going to be talking about what God is ABLE to do in your marriage.
But, if you don't believe He is POWERFUL enough, then you'll leave this series with the same marriage you came with.
And so, finally . . .
Our Foundation Verse for God's Design for Marriage
Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
24 Therefore . . .
That's an important word - THEREFORE... It means:
- Because of everything that’s gone into God’s design
- Because of the incredible way God created man and woman
- Because of God’s entire plan and purpose for man and woman . . .
Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast (cleave) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
This is how God designed marriage: a man shall LEAVE his father and mother, and CLEAVE (hold fast) to his wife and they shall BECOME one flesh. Which is perfectly illustrated in the "puzzle and piece" illustration.
THAT is God's design!!
It is difficult for me to convey the extreme importance of this one verse in understanding God' design for marriage. This is the foundation verse of God's design for marriage.
And by the way - though it says "a man" must "leave" and "cleave" - it applies equally to the women as well.
There must be LEAVING and CLEAVING on BOTH parts for the TWO to become ONE FLESH.
Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast (cleave) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 is called the "Genesis Command for Marriage."
The COMMAND is - Leave - Cleave - Become One Flesh
SESSION TWO M.I.P. (MOST IMPORTANT POINT)
Every major problem you will ever face in your marriage can be traced back to some conflict with these three commands in Genesis 2:24: Leave – Cleave – Become One Flesh
I promise you - in EVERY major marital problem - someone is not LEAVING, or someone is not CLEAVING, and the by-product is that they are not becoming ONE FLESH.
And so, the marriage is disjointed, dysfunctional, and missing out on the greatest possible blessing of God in marriage.
No one has ever been able to really explain ALL that it means for GOD to make two opposite individuals into "one flesh." Two individuals merging into one new identity.
Becoming one flesh is a love relationship so deep, so pure, so intimate that it is patterned after the supernatural union of Jesus Christ and the Church. He is our Bridegroom, and we are His Bride.
God's miraculous design for your marriage is for you and your spouse to become "one flesh," and the process of how to do that is laid out in Genesis 2:24.
Let me give you some support for just how big this verse is.
Dr. Ed Wheat, an MD and marriage counselor who’s written numerous books on Biblical marriage - He says this:
“[Genesis 2:24] remains the most concise and comprehensive counseling session ever presented on marriage . . . These 22 words sum up the entire teaching of scripture on marriage. All else that is said emphasizes or amplifies the 3 fundamental principles originated here, but never changes them in the slightest . . . any real problem you face in marriage will come from ignoring some aspect of God’s Genesis commandment.”
Bob Hoekstra - a respected authority on Biblical Counseling - says this in his “Family God's Way” series:
Violating the principals in this verse cause most marriage problems. If either spouse does not completely do this, there is a time-bomb ticking, and if not corrected, it will eventually bring disaster.
Remember - Session one's M.I.P;
It is the refusal to crucify self-will that is at the root of EVERY marriage problem.
In this key verse (Genesis 2:24) we have (in a practical sense) how the "ROOT" of all marriage problems "works itself out."
The “root” of self-will “works itself out” in:
- Someone Not Leaving - someone or something – OR
- Someone Not Cleaving to their spouse . . .
And the result will be - they are NOT becoming ONE FLESH, at least in some area of their marriage. And if you are not becoming "one flesh" in ANY area of your marriage, you will have problems - because you will be in conflict with God's Design.
And you will continue to have problems;
- Until your self-will is crucified – and
- Until you allow God to make you one flesh in that specific area
Is the strong emphasis on the Genesis Command a NEW thought to you?
Can you think of any major marriage problem that would NOT fall under one the three key steps in Genesis 2:24?
REVIEW
So, this session we have done TWO things:
1) We’ve seen how God CREATED a husband and wife to Fit “JUST RIGHT” together
2) We’ve seen the FOUNDATION for how God designed our marriages to work; Leaving, Cleaving, and Becoming One Flesh
We have already responded to whether we believe God is able to make us to FIT together "JUST RIGHT" and whether God is able to bring us together through his sovereignty.
We'll close this session by asking you to PRAY together. But when I say PRAY together - I mean - you PRAY, BOTH of you.
This is called DIRECTED PRAYER, and here's how it works; I want you to take a moment to LOOK at Genesis 2:24, absorb it, and then I’d like you to pray for your marriage, according to Genesis 2:24. I realize this may be difficult, so just do the best you can.
Here is the subject of your prayer:
Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast (cleave) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Read it, absorb it a minute, then face each other, look at this verse - and PRAY according to this verse.
Father God, thank you that you help us do the hard things. Thank you that you are powerful and sovereign and desiring to strengthen and restore our marriages. Give us the courage to stay and fight for our marriage. Give us the courage to be challenged by your Word and be convicted to pray together. Inspire us, Lord, to crucify our self-will and to choose your will alone for our marriage. In Jesus' precious name, amen.
And now, your homework for this week . . .
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD HOMEWORK