Romance and Loyalty
Session 12 (Audio Only)
Welcome to our final session in “God’s Design for Marriage” – Session 12. In this session we are going to talk about two subjects that are closely connected; Romance and Loyalty.
Romance and Loyalty Go Together
Romance is the reason you got married, and loyalty is the key to staying married. God’s design for your marriage is that the fire of romance remains alive, and it is to be constantly “rekindled” by your loyalty.
Romance and loyalty have the same key ingredient; Undying commitment. And that is our M.I.P. (Most Important Point) for this final session.
Session 12 – Most Important Point
Romance and Loyalty have the same key ingredient; Undying Commitment.
Undying commitment to romance keeps the marriage fire burning.
Undying commitment to loyalty continually rekindles the spark of romance.
The book I would recommend for this area of your marriage is;
“The Book of Romance,” by Tommy Nelson
Let’s start with the number one romance killer;
The #1 Romance Killer – A Hard Heart
So often we hear these “warning signs” of a hard heart;
These are “smoke screen” statements. And they are almost always covering up the sin of unforgiveness and a hard heart. Every refusal to forgive your spouse causes your heart to become harder and harder. Unforgiveness turns into bitterness, and bitterness turns into vengeance. You might not think it’s vengeance, but it’s the vengeance of “closing your heart” to your spouse.
That’s why we have quoted Ephesians 4:32 so many times: We must continually be forgiving one another, (in the SAME way) as God in Christ has forgiven us.
Unforgiveness and bitterness, if not fully healed, will bring callousness to your marriage and will result in the loss of romantic love.
Proverbs 18:19 (NLT)
19 An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.
I am talking about you being offended by your spouse and then you refusing to forgive them. Then what happens is, they’re on the other side of that locked gate, and they’re trying to repent and they’re attempting to make things right. But your heart is harder to win back than a fortified city because unforgiveness has calloused your heart.
And so, we must continually unlock the gate of our heart, and we must continually allow God to “soften” the hardness of our heart that comes from unforgiveness.
We’ve got to commit those hurts to God and allow him to pour AGAPE love (Romans 5:5) into our heart to soften and restore it, because healing our callused heart is the first step toward restoring romance in our marriage.
Next, the number two romance killer;
The #2 Romance Killer – Refusal to Live in our God-Designed Roles
God designed our spouse; he knows exactly what they need. And he designed us to provide exactly what they need. The secret to providing our spouse just what they need is to live purposefully in our roles.
WIVES, (seriously) the most romantic thing you can do for your husband is to sacrificially support him, respect him, and even admire him. That’s a man who can’t wait to get home after work because he needs the emotional support that only his wife can give him.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T . . . That’s actually what God designed a man to need.
You may think your body is the only thing that says romance to your husband. And husbands you may also mistakenly believe that same thing. But I promise you, a wife who is purposefully and actively living in her role is the real key to long-term romance. Husbands, contrary to your assumption, romance is not spelled S-E-X. Yes, it involves sex, but true romance starts way before that. True romance starts (and lasts) in the heart.
The best way for you both to develop that heart of romance is to;
Wives, the world says romance is about looking like a model. The Bible says it is the hidden beauty of the heart.
1 Peter 3:1–4 (NLT)
1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands (live in your role). Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over
2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.
3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.
4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.
The secret to romance (from the wives’ side) is not primarily on the outside, but it is primarily on the inside. And if you are consistently critical and judgmental, you will never be able to show true romantic love to your husband.
Proverbs 27:15-16 (NLT)
15 A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day.
16 Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind . . .
For wives, honestly, romance starts with the “unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.” It starts with the heart. Now, of course, there are outward things you can do, and should do, to keep the romance alive in your marriage. But a critical, judgmental spirit, dressed up in a red nighty, only lasts for a very short time. The unfading beauty God has given you lasts forever, and it all starts with the condition of your heart.
HUSBANDS - the most romantic thing you can do for your wife is to sacrificially love her. To love her with genuine tenderness and understanding, which is exactly what God made her to need.
A wife whose husband is constantly showing her kindness, tenderness, genuine affection, and understanding, THAT is a happy wife, and one who feels the life of romance in her marriage.
When a husband is genuinely treating his wife this way; not only will she be happy, and feel the life of romance in her marriage, but this is also most often what leads to the S-E-X part that all men think I’m actually talking about when I say romance.
Our culture has damaged marriage (and sex) so much by playing to a man’s fantasy of, “one wink and ten seconds later we’re having wild sex.” You know that doesn’t actually work, right? And the rest of what you see on TV isn’t true either!
Here’s what is true, though, and here is how to really prepare for lasting romance, including the S-E-X part.
1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)
7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
This verse is about giving great care to your wife, which is exactly what God created her to need. True romance is all about showing her honor and treating her with understanding, as you should. Not only will that make your marriage great, but also, when you pray, God will not say, “I can’t hear you.”
Husbands, you must give honor to your wife at all times. She has to know she is your queen, the most important thing in your world. That is what God designed your wife to need! If you do whatever is necessary for her to feel that way, your marriage will continually grow in the area of romance. But if you are a demanding, self-absorbed husband, it will be impossible for your wife to feel romantic towards you.
The key verse for your role is from Ephesians 5.
Ephesians 5:25 (NKJV)
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
Do you want the sex part of romance? Then first love your wife just as Christ loved the Church. Romance is destroyed when either a husband or a wife refuses to give what the other person is designed by God to need.
THE ROMANCE SPARK
When you truly begin to give your spouse what they need most, I promise, that romantic spark will come back.
A wife needs most to be loved, honored, and cherished by her husband.
A husband needs most to be supported and respected by his wife.
Now let’s talk about how loyalty fits together with romance.
LOYALTY
Since the 1960’s the divorce rate in this country has skyrocketed 700%. Almost half of all school-age children now come from broken homes. Why? Because we have set aside God’s design and we have set aside our loyalty. Many here have been divorced. And if you have been divorced and asked God’s forgiveness, he has forgiven you. And God wants you to press on for what he has for you. However, please understand God’s design for marriage does not include the option for divorce.
In Matthew 19 Jesus says divorce exists because of the hardness of your hearts, but it was never God’s design. Although the New Testament does allow divorce on the grounds of adultery, it means God permits it because of the intense damage adultery does.
However, even in that grave situation, God can heal and restore, because God has made two individuals one flesh.
Jesus says in Matthew 19:6 (NLT)
6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
The vow you took on your wedding day, God took seriously. It’s taken from Exodus 20, the third commandment.
Exodus 20:7
7 “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
This commandment is not about cursing. It’s about the eternal seriousness of the vows we make before God. If you stood before God and made a vow before him to be one flesh with your spouse, God took that vow seriously, and he meant for you to take it seriously as well.
For us to maintain that vow, we need to be committed to two types of loyalty: emotional loyalty and mental loyalty.
EMOTIONAL LOYALTY
Emotional loyalty means there is no one of the opposite sex involved in your emotional life – no one! Emotional oneness is a very powerful thing, and I promise you it is too powerful for you to share with someone of the opposite sex that is not your spouse. That emotional connection leads to romance. And so, you should have no relationship with someone of the opposite sex that involves the sharing of your emotions, other than your spouse, unless it’s your mother or father.
WARNING!!
At the precise moment your marriage struggles,the enemy will put someone of the opposite sex in your path. If you begin to share your emotions with them, you will be playing into the devil’s hand and giving him free reign to steal, kill, and destroy your marriage.
The sharing of your heart must be saved for your spouse because it is part of the magic of romance in a marriage. Outside of your marriage, friendships that involve the sharing of emotions must be of the same sex. Here’s why; the devil’s not stupid. Stop and read again the warning above! Really, read it carefully.
Emotional disloyalty is very often the beginning of a marriage downfall. We must protect our heart, for our spouse, at all costs.
MENTAL LOYALTY
Next, you must keep your mind loyal to your spouse at all times. You must deny all other mental (or visual) temptations. Disloyalty (in any way) always undermines the one flesh bond, and it always begins with a small undermining. Then it just tears away at the foundation until your marriage collapses on itself.
And always remember this; The most important time for you to be fiercely loyal to your spouse . . . is when they are not with you.
YOU MUST BE LOYAL (MENTALLY AND VISUALLY) TO YOUR SPOUSE AT ALL TIMES.
MEN...
If you are looking at pornography, you are undermining the foundation of your marriage with every click of the mouse. Jesus said you are committing adultery in your heart, and you WILL destroy your marriage for the sake of some stupid picture. Don’t be an idiot. You must count the cost of what you’re looking at. It’s very high.
But mental disloyalty is not JUST a man thing…
WOMEN...
In their minds, women often think some other man would be a better husband for them - because they don’t know that other man. This mental disloyalty will also begin to subtly undermine the foundation of your marriage. And, by the way, statistics show that married women are in inappropriate internet communication twice as much as married men.
An affair always begins with a desire to escape current conditions in your marriage. And it ends with you trying to fulfill, outside your marriage, some need you don’t think is being fulfilled inside your marriage.
An affair never fulfills the need that you think drove you to the affair. It never does. Those feelings are just the bait the enemy uses to get you to destroy your marriage. And he is always “in the wings,” just waiting to provide the bait.
The devil’s primary tactic to destroy your marriage is this:
Some of you are in relationships right now where you are being disloyal to your spouse, emotionally or mentally. You must end it right now! Today! YOU MUST make a commitment to God right now to crucify that relationship – cut it off, end it! If you have to quit your job, move, leave the ministry, it doesn’t matter. Take drastic measures, and do it now!
When you do work, or minister, with persons of the opposite sex, you must set up a wall of emotional and mental loyalty to your spouse. Because your emotional and mental loyalty is not tested when you are with your spouse, it is always tested when you’re away from your spouse. And so those lines must be drawn, and those walls must be built, and they must not be crossed, for any reason.
We must be loyal to our spouse, at all costs, in all ways, at all times.
Emotionally ~ Mentally ~ Visually ~ Physically
Let’s wrap up now with a principle guaranteed to keep romantic love alive in your marriage. And I believe this principle will even divorce-proof your marriage. We call this principle, “3-Dimensional Oneness.” It’s oneness in every area of your marriage.
3-DIMENSIONAL ONENESS
Dimension #1 – Physical Oneness
Physical touch and closeness, and yes . . . sex. But again, men, it’s not just sex. It does include sex, but a physical oneness is much more than just sex. Sitting together, being together, doing things together. These are all in the physical oneness category, and this is the first level of 3-Dimensional Oneness.
Being physically together, physical oneness, is the starting point, and then you build on that foundation.
Dimension #2 – Emotional Oneness
Emotional Oneness is where most marriage relationships, initially, really got rolling. When you began developing an emotional oneness, that’s when you were on your way to getting married. Unfortunately, this is also where most marriages start to break down.
Emotional oneness is sharing all the emotions, together. It’s experiencing life together. It’s the emotional connection of two hearts beating as one. Romance at its best is heart-to-heart communication. It’s feeling what your spouse feels.
Emotional oneness goes beyond just the physical; it’s the beginning of a real romance that lasts. Emotional Oneness requires ongoing effort to grow and to maintain, but it is so worth it!
Dimension #3 – Spiritual Oneness
Spiritual Oneness is the supernatural unity that supersedes all else. The pinnacle of oneness in your marriage is spiritual oneness.
God’s love for us could be described as a romantic love:
God loves you in that way, and he’s poured that love (his love) into your heart (Romans 5:5 says). The most supernatural oneness is spiritual oneness, and it is at the peak of the 3-Dimensional Oneness that will divorce-proof your marriage.
From Tommy Nelson’s book, “The Book of Romance”
“A recent survey concluded 80 % of couples who live together not being married end up separating. 60% of couples married outside the church end up divorcing. 40% of couples married inside the church end up divorcing. But couples who read their Bible together daily, divorce at the rate of .1% (1/10 of 1%).”
Those numbers speak for themselves.
“3-Dimensional Oneness” is the secret weapon to keep love alive and divorce-proof your marriage.
3-Dimensional Oneness is your guarantee of romantic love, and your greatest defense against the enemy’s attacks on your marriage.
We must hold our marriage in higher regard than anything else in this life (except Christ himself). We must honor it, protect it, and nurture it. We must always breathe life into it, and we must always sacrifice ‘self’ for it.
THIS is God’s Design for Marriage!
Let’s Pray. “Heavenly Father, please make us one flesh, and please make us loyal. Please give us the power of your Holy Spirit to crucify our self, to live in the roles you’ve designed us to live in, and to experience your 3-dimensional oneness. May we experience the greatest blessings of your design for our marriage. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
RESPONSE TIME...
Will you commit to do just ONE MORE night of homework with your Spouse?
YES _________ NO __________
If you have not done ANY other homework, will you absolutely commit to doing this last homework assignment?
YES _________ NO __________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD HOMEWORK
Romance and Loyalty Go Together
Romance is the reason you got married, and loyalty is the key to staying married. God’s design for your marriage is that the fire of romance remains alive, and it is to be constantly “rekindled” by your loyalty.
Romance and loyalty have the same key ingredient; Undying commitment. And that is our M.I.P. (Most Important Point) for this final session.
Session 12 – Most Important Point
Romance and Loyalty have the same key ingredient; Undying Commitment.
Undying commitment to romance keeps the marriage fire burning.
Undying commitment to loyalty continually rekindles the spark of romance.
The book I would recommend for this area of your marriage is;
“The Book of Romance,” by Tommy Nelson
Let’s start with the number one romance killer;
The #1 Romance Killer – A Hard Heart
So often we hear these “warning signs” of a hard heart;
- I just don’t feel in love anymore.
- I think I have fallen out of love with my spouse.
- Maybe it just isn’t meant to be.
These are “smoke screen” statements. And they are almost always covering up the sin of unforgiveness and a hard heart. Every refusal to forgive your spouse causes your heart to become harder and harder. Unforgiveness turns into bitterness, and bitterness turns into vengeance. You might not think it’s vengeance, but it’s the vengeance of “closing your heart” to your spouse.
That’s why we have quoted Ephesians 4:32 so many times: We must continually be forgiving one another, (in the SAME way) as God in Christ has forgiven us.
Unforgiveness and bitterness, if not fully healed, will bring callousness to your marriage and will result in the loss of romantic love.
Proverbs 18:19 (NLT)
19 An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.
I am talking about you being offended by your spouse and then you refusing to forgive them. Then what happens is, they’re on the other side of that locked gate, and they’re trying to repent and they’re attempting to make things right. But your heart is harder to win back than a fortified city because unforgiveness has calloused your heart.
And so, we must continually unlock the gate of our heart, and we must continually allow God to “soften” the hardness of our heart that comes from unforgiveness.
We’ve got to commit those hurts to God and allow him to pour AGAPE love (Romans 5:5) into our heart to soften and restore it, because healing our callused heart is the first step toward restoring romance in our marriage.
Next, the number two romance killer;
The #2 Romance Killer – Refusal to Live in our God-Designed Roles
God designed our spouse; he knows exactly what they need. And he designed us to provide exactly what they need. The secret to providing our spouse just what they need is to live purposefully in our roles.
WIVES, (seriously) the most romantic thing you can do for your husband is to sacrificially support him, respect him, and even admire him. That’s a man who can’t wait to get home after work because he needs the emotional support that only his wife can give him.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T . . . That’s actually what God designed a man to need.
You may think your body is the only thing that says romance to your husband. And husbands you may also mistakenly believe that same thing. But I promise you, a wife who is purposefully and actively living in her role is the real key to long-term romance. Husbands, contrary to your assumption, romance is not spelled S-E-X. Yes, it involves sex, but true romance starts way before that. True romance starts (and lasts) in the heart.
The best way for you both to develop that heart of romance is to;
- Keep God’s agape love flowing for your spouse.
- Purposefully and actively give your spouse what they need.
Wives, the world says romance is about looking like a model. The Bible says it is the hidden beauty of the heart.
1 Peter 3:1–4 (NLT)
1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands (live in your role). Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over
2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.
3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.
4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.
The secret to romance (from the wives’ side) is not primarily on the outside, but it is primarily on the inside. And if you are consistently critical and judgmental, you will never be able to show true romantic love to your husband.
Proverbs 27:15-16 (NLT)
15 A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day.
16 Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind . . .
For wives, honestly, romance starts with the “unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.” It starts with the heart. Now, of course, there are outward things you can do, and should do, to keep the romance alive in your marriage. But a critical, judgmental spirit, dressed up in a red nighty, only lasts for a very short time. The unfading beauty God has given you lasts forever, and it all starts with the condition of your heart.
HUSBANDS - the most romantic thing you can do for your wife is to sacrificially love her. To love her with genuine tenderness and understanding, which is exactly what God made her to need.
A wife whose husband is constantly showing her kindness, tenderness, genuine affection, and understanding, THAT is a happy wife, and one who feels the life of romance in her marriage.
When a husband is genuinely treating his wife this way; not only will she be happy, and feel the life of romance in her marriage, but this is also most often what leads to the S-E-X part that all men think I’m actually talking about when I say romance.
Our culture has damaged marriage (and sex) so much by playing to a man’s fantasy of, “one wink and ten seconds later we’re having wild sex.” You know that doesn’t actually work, right? And the rest of what you see on TV isn’t true either!
Here’s what is true, though, and here is how to really prepare for lasting romance, including the S-E-X part.
1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)
7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
This verse is about giving great care to your wife, which is exactly what God created her to need. True romance is all about showing her honor and treating her with understanding, as you should. Not only will that make your marriage great, but also, when you pray, God will not say, “I can’t hear you.”
Husbands, you must give honor to your wife at all times. She has to know she is your queen, the most important thing in your world. That is what God designed your wife to need! If you do whatever is necessary for her to feel that way, your marriage will continually grow in the area of romance. But if you are a demanding, self-absorbed husband, it will be impossible for your wife to feel romantic towards you.
The key verse for your role is from Ephesians 5.
Ephesians 5:25 (NKJV)
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
Do you want the sex part of romance? Then first love your wife just as Christ loved the Church. Romance is destroyed when either a husband or a wife refuses to give what the other person is designed by God to need.
THE ROMANCE SPARK
When you truly begin to give your spouse what they need most, I promise, that romantic spark will come back.
A wife needs most to be loved, honored, and cherished by her husband.
A husband needs most to be supported and respected by his wife.
Now let’s talk about how loyalty fits together with romance.
LOYALTY
Since the 1960’s the divorce rate in this country has skyrocketed 700%. Almost half of all school-age children now come from broken homes. Why? Because we have set aside God’s design and we have set aside our loyalty. Many here have been divorced. And if you have been divorced and asked God’s forgiveness, he has forgiven you. And God wants you to press on for what he has for you. However, please understand God’s design for marriage does not include the option for divorce.
In Matthew 19 Jesus says divorce exists because of the hardness of your hearts, but it was never God’s design. Although the New Testament does allow divorce on the grounds of adultery, it means God permits it because of the intense damage adultery does.
However, even in that grave situation, God can heal and restore, because God has made two individuals one flesh.
Jesus says in Matthew 19:6 (NLT)
6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
The vow you took on your wedding day, God took seriously. It’s taken from Exodus 20, the third commandment.
Exodus 20:7
7 “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
This commandment is not about cursing. It’s about the eternal seriousness of the vows we make before God. If you stood before God and made a vow before him to be one flesh with your spouse, God took that vow seriously, and he meant for you to take it seriously as well.
For us to maintain that vow, we need to be committed to two types of loyalty: emotional loyalty and mental loyalty.
EMOTIONAL LOYALTY
Emotional loyalty means there is no one of the opposite sex involved in your emotional life – no one! Emotional oneness is a very powerful thing, and I promise you it is too powerful for you to share with someone of the opposite sex that is not your spouse. That emotional connection leads to romance. And so, you should have no relationship with someone of the opposite sex that involves the sharing of your emotions, other than your spouse, unless it’s your mother or father.
WARNING!!
At the precise moment your marriage struggles,the enemy will put someone of the opposite sex in your path. If you begin to share your emotions with them, you will be playing into the devil’s hand and giving him free reign to steal, kill, and destroy your marriage.
The sharing of your heart must be saved for your spouse because it is part of the magic of romance in a marriage. Outside of your marriage, friendships that involve the sharing of emotions must be of the same sex. Here’s why; the devil’s not stupid. Stop and read again the warning above! Really, read it carefully.
Emotional disloyalty is very often the beginning of a marriage downfall. We must protect our heart, for our spouse, at all costs.
MENTAL LOYALTY
Next, you must keep your mind loyal to your spouse at all times. You must deny all other mental (or visual) temptations. Disloyalty (in any way) always undermines the one flesh bond, and it always begins with a small undermining. Then it just tears away at the foundation until your marriage collapses on itself.
And always remember this; The most important time for you to be fiercely loyal to your spouse . . . is when they are not with you.
YOU MUST BE LOYAL (MENTALLY AND VISUALLY) TO YOUR SPOUSE AT ALL TIMES.
MEN...
If you are looking at pornography, you are undermining the foundation of your marriage with every click of the mouse. Jesus said you are committing adultery in your heart, and you WILL destroy your marriage for the sake of some stupid picture. Don’t be an idiot. You must count the cost of what you’re looking at. It’s very high.
But mental disloyalty is not JUST a man thing…
WOMEN...
In their minds, women often think some other man would be a better husband for them - because they don’t know that other man. This mental disloyalty will also begin to subtly undermine the foundation of your marriage. And, by the way, statistics show that married women are in inappropriate internet communication twice as much as married men.
An affair always begins with a desire to escape current conditions in your marriage. And it ends with you trying to fulfill, outside your marriage, some need you don’t think is being fulfilled inside your marriage.
An affair never fulfills the need that you think drove you to the affair. It never does. Those feelings are just the bait the enemy uses to get you to destroy your marriage. And he is always “in the wings,” just waiting to provide the bait.
The devil’s primary tactic to destroy your marriage is this:
- Mental (visual) disloyalty – followed by
- Emotional disloyalty – followed by
- Physical disloyalty – followed by the
- Destruction of ALL loyalty and possibly the marriage.
Some of you are in relationships right now where you are being disloyal to your spouse, emotionally or mentally. You must end it right now! Today! YOU MUST make a commitment to God right now to crucify that relationship – cut it off, end it! If you have to quit your job, move, leave the ministry, it doesn’t matter. Take drastic measures, and do it now!
When you do work, or minister, with persons of the opposite sex, you must set up a wall of emotional and mental loyalty to your spouse. Because your emotional and mental loyalty is not tested when you are with your spouse, it is always tested when you’re away from your spouse. And so those lines must be drawn, and those walls must be built, and they must not be crossed, for any reason.
We must be loyal to our spouse, at all costs, in all ways, at all times.
Emotionally ~ Mentally ~ Visually ~ Physically
Let’s wrap up now with a principle guaranteed to keep romantic love alive in your marriage. And I believe this principle will even divorce-proof your marriage. We call this principle, “3-Dimensional Oneness.” It’s oneness in every area of your marriage.
3-DIMENSIONAL ONENESS
Dimension #1 – Physical Oneness
Physical touch and closeness, and yes . . . sex. But again, men, it’s not just sex. It does include sex, but a physical oneness is much more than just sex. Sitting together, being together, doing things together. These are all in the physical oneness category, and this is the first level of 3-Dimensional Oneness.
Being physically together, physical oneness, is the starting point, and then you build on that foundation.
Dimension #2 – Emotional Oneness
Emotional Oneness is where most marriage relationships, initially, really got rolling. When you began developing an emotional oneness, that’s when you were on your way to getting married. Unfortunately, this is also where most marriages start to break down.
Emotional oneness is sharing all the emotions, together. It’s experiencing life together. It’s the emotional connection of two hearts beating as one. Romance at its best is heart-to-heart communication. It’s feeling what your spouse feels.
Emotional oneness goes beyond just the physical; it’s the beginning of a real romance that lasts. Emotional Oneness requires ongoing effort to grow and to maintain, but it is so worth it!
Dimension #3 – Spiritual Oneness
Spiritual Oneness is the supernatural unity that supersedes all else. The pinnacle of oneness in your marriage is spiritual oneness.
God’s love for us could be described as a romantic love:
- He gently woos us to himself
- He assures us we are of great value to him
- He continually shows us how much he loves us and cares for us
- He desires to have a constantly growing relationship with us
God loves you in that way, and he’s poured that love (his love) into your heart (Romans 5:5 says). The most supernatural oneness is spiritual oneness, and it is at the peak of the 3-Dimensional Oneness that will divorce-proof your marriage.
From Tommy Nelson’s book, “The Book of Romance”
“A recent survey concluded 80 % of couples who live together not being married end up separating. 60% of couples married outside the church end up divorcing. 40% of couples married inside the church end up divorcing. But couples who read their Bible together daily, divorce at the rate of .1% (1/10 of 1%).”
Those numbers speak for themselves.
“3-Dimensional Oneness” is the secret weapon to keep love alive and divorce-proof your marriage.
- Physical Oneness – Being together physically.
- Emotional Oneness – Two hearts beating as one.
- Spiritual Oneness – The supernatural unity.
3-Dimensional Oneness is your guarantee of romantic love, and your greatest defense against the enemy’s attacks on your marriage.
We must hold our marriage in higher regard than anything else in this life (except Christ himself). We must honor it, protect it, and nurture it. We must always breathe life into it, and we must always sacrifice ‘self’ for it.
THIS is God’s Design for Marriage!
Let’s Pray. “Heavenly Father, please make us one flesh, and please make us loyal. Please give us the power of your Holy Spirit to crucify our self, to live in the roles you’ve designed us to live in, and to experience your 3-dimensional oneness. May we experience the greatest blessings of your design for our marriage. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
RESPONSE TIME...
Will you commit to do just ONE MORE night of homework with your Spouse?
YES _________ NO __________
If you have not done ANY other homework, will you absolutely commit to doing this last homework assignment?
YES _________ NO __________
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD HOMEWORK