The Heart of a Mother (2016)
1 Samuel 1:1-2:21
Some of you are saying, “Hey Dave. I didn’t think you did Mother’s Day messages.” This is the first Mother’s Day message I have ever done. And I have to tell you the reason. The reason is that the mothers in my life, not just my birth mother, but primarily – in my early years, exclusively – the mothers in my life have had such an impact. And I owe so much of my life, literally my being alive, to mothers, especially my birth mother. I have never felt I could handle the subject in public. So, I had a really hard day yesterday and tried to take out as much personal stuff as I could.
I will just tell you, there is no way I would be standing here without my mom and the other mothers in my life. I could not wade in one inch of the ocean that my mother has been to me in my life. I genuinely cannot convey it to you. I can’t. Not to mention two incredible grandmothers who were just crucial in my youth.
I can’t begin to tell you how much my wife, as a mother, is responsible for all that our family is and is becoming. My kids and I today literally, I am telling you the truth, we stand on the foundation of the never-ending sacrifice of my wife, as a mother for thirty-six years. Again, I can’t convey how deep that truly is.
And now, incredibly, my daughters – as mothers – are displaying in their own families this incredible, miraculous, sacrificial love for their own families. And still, for me. And so, when I say the mothers in my life, I mean not just my mother, but my wife as mother, my daughters as mothers, miraculous mothers through extreme difficulty, (through a near-death experience for Danielle) my daughters have become miraculous mothers. Also, my daughter-in-law who is not only sacrificing her life for her own family but also for our country.
So I just want to stand here and shout out the awesomeness of mothers because of my life. I just want to say mothers are awesome, and great, incredible, and miraculous.
However, I do realize – I really do – that Mother’s Day can kind of be a double-edged sword, that it can actually bring pain and joy. Maybe especially if you’ve had a mother that has passed away, or a dysfunctional relationship either with your mother or as a mother, I realize there are trials and there are difficulties and there are decisions that we make in our lives that can easily leave a woman feeling condemned instead of encouraged on Mother’s Day. I realize that. And so if you have made decisions or mistakes in your life that you feel that have kept you from being a godly mother, or maybe even a Christian woman, or if you’ve had circumstances in your life that have prevented you from being the godly mother that you would like to be, here is my word to you from the Lord, Romans 8:1.
Romans 8:1 (NLT)
1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.
There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ, for those who belong to Christ. And so, false condemnation and all of the regrets and all of the guilt that we pile on ourselves, that is not from God. Conviction of sin is from God, but false condemnation and guilt and regret – the enemy uses that, and he enflames it in your life to do additional damage. Don’t be a victim to that attack, that ploy of the enemy. Please. I realize that there are those of us in this room.
I also know that my incredibly high opinion of mothers, unfortunately (because we live in a fallen world) does not apply to all mothers. And so, if my high opinion of mothers does not apply to your mother, I am sorry. I am just sorry. It’s just like my opinion of fathers might not apply to your father. And I’m sorry.
Again, all I can tell you is God pours out much more grace. He pours out more than sufficient grace for you to overcome, for you to be healed, to carry you through any shortcomings or sinful decisions or painful experiences that either you have experienced or maybe feel like you are part of inflicting. It’s complicated. That’s not why I avoid Mother’s Day messages, I already told you why. I just want to tell you I understand that there are struggles and difficulties because of what we have experienced.
Do you hear my heart on all that?
We are living in a phenomenal time in our culture, have you noticed? It’s a pretty radical time to be a Christian, especially a Bible-believing Christian. Our culture is committed to using any and all means necessary to force us, to militantly force us, to embrace their demands that every person gets to be whatever gender they want to be, at whatever time they want to be whatever gender, to whatever extent they want to be whatever gender, and at whatever level of offense that inflicts on others. So, while I can still speak freely about this, and that time I’m sure is limited if God doesn’t change the face of this country. While I can still speak freely, let me tell you please, God fundamentally made men and women different. I just have to tell the truth while I can. God created men and women differently.
I believe honestly, that our culture’s full-scale attack on that truth is maybe the largest de-valuing and discriminating thing that has ever occurred to women. To say that they are equal to men? It’s like, why would you put that hate speech on them? To bring them down to the level of a man? God didn’t. Why would you? It’s offensive and discriminating to say that women are only equal to men.
God created women, and especially mothers, please hear me, so unique. He so incredibly gifted them. He made them so sacrificially loving that God literally had to save them until the end of the creation process to create them. When God made woman in Genesis 2:18, she was made as the answer to the problem of man. Woman was made as the answer, as God’s answer, to the problem of man. And guys, that is still why God creates woman. And that is a hundred times truer with mothers. God creates them as the answer.
The Lord was at the end of the creation process, and he was preparing the final missing piece of his creation. And an angel came up to the Lord and said “Lord, why are you spending so much time on this final piece of your creation?”
And the Lord answered, “Have you seen the spec sheet on this one? She has to have over two hundred movable parts in order to do ten things at once and never wear out. She has to run on coffee and kid’s leftovers. She has to have a lap that she can hold three children in but magically disappears when she stands up. She has to have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart. And she has to work like she has six hands to do all that she is required to do simultaneously.”
The angel was astounded at the requirements for this final piece of creation. And the angel said, “Six hands…”
The Lord replied, “It’s not the hands that are the problem. She also has to have three pairs of eyes. She has to have one pair of eyes to see through closed doors and to see into closed hearts. She has to have another pair of eyes in the back of her head to see what others don’t think she can see. And she has to have a third pair of eyes to constantly look for that child who needs unconditional love and understanding.”
The angel protested. “Lord, it’s too much. It’s too much for one creation.”
And the Lord replied, “I haven’t even started yet. She has to be able to heal herself when she is sick, while she is feeding her family on whatever she happens to have in the cupboard, while she is doing homework for three kids at once, while the laundry is being done, and while she is carrying the emotional burden of every single person in the house.”
The angel was perplexed and he moved in closer and he touched the woman and he said, “But Lord, you’ve made her so soft.”
“She has to be soft,” the Lord said. “But I have also made her very tough. She will have no idea what she can endure or what she can accomplish.”
And then the angel noticed something on the woman’s cheek and he said, “Lord it looks like your prototype is leaking.”
“That’s not a leak,” the Lord said. “That’s a part of her greatest strength. You see, that tear will be the way of her expressing her joy and her sorrow. That tear will be her way of expressing her disappointment and her pain. That tear will be her way of expressing her loneliness and her grief – all while she continues to do what I’ve made her to do.”
The angel was impressed. He said, “You are incredible, Lord. You have truly made this one for everything.”
And the Lord looked down at the creation of woman and he said, “It’s because of what will be required of her.”
Moms, don’t you let someone say that you are only equal to a man. That is hate speech because God has made you to do what no man can do. God made you that way, it’s the heart he put in you.
In the time just before the Kings of Israel, God made Samuel, Israel’s last judge, and Israel’s first formal prophet. It was a crucial time for Israel. It was Samuel that God used to choose both of Israel’s first two kings – both Saul and King David. Samuel had a huge place in the history of Israel. And fortunately, God gave us a little baby window into the heart of Samuel’s mother, Hannah.
God going to use the determination, and the perseverance, and the dedication, and the heart he put into a mother in order for Hannah to raise up Samuel so that God can use Samuel to raise up the first kings of Israel.
She doesn’t get much credit, but God cracks a window open for us to see her heart, in 1 Samuel Chapter 1. It’s the heart of a godly mother. It opens in 1 Samuel 1:1.
1 Samuel 1:1-2 (NLT)
1 There was a man named Elkanah who lived in Ramah . . .
2 Elkanah had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah did not.
Hannah was probably the first wife of Elkanah. But, most likely, since Hannah was not able to have children, he married – maybe a concubine – Peninnah. Children were so important to the continuation of the family in that culture, that this was man’s normal fix. Please hear me; this was never condoned by God. But it was Israel and all the people’s normal fix.
And so Hannah is our focus. And Hannah’s story begins with a huge hole in her heart. A hole that some of you have experienced. It’s so hard on women who desire so badly to have children. Pam and I experienced that hole in our lives for seven years. It took seven years and a ton of prayer by this little church we were going to, and a lot of doctor stuff, before the Lord gave us our first child. But those seven years were really hard. And there are women in this room who are in that same place, and we understand that there is a hole in your heart when you are in that place.
Hopefully, none of you have a second wife in your home who is constantly taunting you about it. Okay? It’s bad enough if you can’t have children. But when you have a second wife who is making fun of you and taunting you and always poking at you about it, that’s when you have a rough row to hoe.
1 Samuel 1:3-5 (NLT)
3 Each year Elkanah would travel to Shiloh to worship and sacrifice to the Lord of Heaven’s Armies at the Tabernacle . . .
4 On the days Elkanah presented his sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to Peninnah and each of her children.
5 And though he loved Hannah, he would give her only one choice portion because the Lord had given her no children.
If you’re reading a literal translation it may say “double portion” there. Honestly, the word much more likely means the “choice” portion. The word literally in Hebrew means “the face” and so it is a little hard to translate. But most likely it means the choicest portion. Hannah couldn’t have more than one portion because she had no children. And so Elkanah would give her the choice portion to show his love for her.
Peninnah was a little different. She was the “other wife.” (This is long before all these wacky “Real Housewives” shows. Really, honestly, if you watch them, stop it. Seriously.) This is long before the “Real Housewives of Ramah” ever came. But Peninnah would have been a star of this one. She made sure that Hannah felt the full sting of the hole in her heart from not being able to have children.
1 Samuel 1:6 (NLT)
6 So Peninnah would taunt Hannah and make fun of her because the Lord had kept her from having children.
In that time you were considered cursed by God if you could not have children. And Peninnah made sure Hannah knew that. I know women today who feel the same struggle. And they say to me what people far too often say to me, “Why did God do this to me?” If you are living with something in your life that you are mistakenly saying that about, come see me and let me help you understand.
So for Hannah, this is like brutal torture with the other wife, the real housewife of Ramah, Peninnah, saying to, always to her, torturing her with the fact that she could not have children – year, after year, after year, after year.
1 Samuel 1:7 (NLT)
7 year after year it was the same—Peninnah would taunt Hannah as they went to the Tabernacle. Each time, Hannah would be reduced to tears and would not even eat.
Some of you know what Hannah is going through. This is the deepest pain for the heart of a mother. Peninnah is taunting, making fun. Hannah is too broken to fight back. She can’t do anything about it. And so she would be reduced to tears, not even able to eat.
But, never fear. Hubby is here. Oh, her husband can fix it. And so, the husband is going to ride in on the white horse and fix everything. Alright, men, this is your part of the lesson. Please, for your wife’s sake, listen closely.
1 Samuel 1:8 (NLT)
8 “Why are you crying, Hannah?” Elkanah would ask. “Why aren’t you eating? Why be downhearted just because you have no children? You have me - isn’t that better than having ten sons?”
Listen, men, some of the best advice I can give you is, besides having a real relationship with Jesus Christ, it’s best most of the time to just keep your mouth shut. I mean, really, honestly. Proverbs says a fool when he is silent is considered to be wise. And if you’re thinking something is stupid like this, just keep your mouth shut so they don’t know about it. Why be downhearted just because you have no children? You have me - isn’t that better than having ten sons?”
Year after year it was getting too much for Hannah and her husband wasn’t helping. And so we read in 1 Samuel 1:9,
1 Samuel 1:9-11 (NLT)
9 Once after a sacrificial meal at Shiloh, Hannah got up and went to pray. Eli the priest was sitting at his customary place beside the entrance of the Tabernacle.
10 Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.
11 And she made this vow: “O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the Lord, his hair will never be cut.”
That’s it right there. That is the heart of a godly mother right there. Hannah is dying on the inside to have a child. She is in deep anguish, she is crying out to the Lord of Heaven’s Armies which is God’s battle name. That is his victory name. And she says, O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will hear my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. You have to read between the lines and see the heart of a mother right there. If you’ll give me a son that I can pour my life into, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours his entire life and as a SIGN - his hair will never be cut, which is a reference to the Nazarite vow, for children who have been dedicated to the service of the Lord.
That right there, that’s how a mother’s heart works. Lord, more than anything else in the world, I want so badly to have a child. And if you’ll answer my prayer, I won’t hold on to the child forever, but if I can just pour my life into this child, I’ll give him back to you for his entire life. And maybe you’d say, “Well, that doesn’t make sense.” If she wants a child so badly, why would she give him back to the Lord? And I would tell you because that is the heart of a mother. The heart of a mother is genuine self-sacrifice and that is what you are seeing Hannah beg for right now. She is saying, “Lord allow me to give my life for a child. Allow me to sacrifice my life for a child. Not for my sake, but because my heart desires to pour my life into a child’s life.” Do you get it? “And then I’ll give him back to you.” That’s the heart of a mother.
And so, Hannah prays this deep heartfelt prayer. And the priest Eli hears her praying, and they have an odd interaction. And then Eli the priest says to Hannah, “Go in peace. May God grant you your request.” And Hannah leaves the Tabernacle that year encouraged because Eli said this. He didn’t even hear the prayer, he thought she was drunk. But he says, “Go in peace. May God grant you your request.”
We skip down to 1 Samuel 1:19.
1 Samuel 1:19-20 (NLT)
19 The entire family got up early the next morning and went to worship the Lord once more. Then they returned home to Ramah. When Elkanah slept with Hannah, the Lord remembered her plea,
20 and in due time she gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, “I asked the Lord for him.”
After all that, after all that Hannah has been through, after all the torment from the “other wife,” after all of the crying out to God, after all of the grief that she carried, after all that, God says “in due time.” In due time. In due time, God gave Hannah a son.
If you, like Pam and I, have experienced that “in due time,” we can’t yet know why. We will someday, but not here. But if you’re in that “due time,” hold on. God is faithful to complete the work he started.
And so now, Hannah has a son that she has cried out for. It’s everything she has hoped for. It’s everything she has wanted. It’s all that she has been living for. And so she starts to pour her life into this child. He becomes her everything. He becomes her everything. And during those crucial years when she is just pouring her life into her new son, her miracle baby, pouring her life, and pouring her life, she didn’t even go with the family when they went back to Shiloh to worship at the Tabernacle.
1 Samuel 1:21-22 (NLT)
21 The next year Elkanah and his family went on their annual trip to offer a sacrifice to the Lord and to keep his vow.
22 But Hannah did not go. She told her husband, “Wait until the boy is weaned. Then I will take him to the Tabernacle and leave him there with the Lord permanently.”
The word “weaned” generally means somewhere between three and five years old. But you’re going to see in a minute that Samuel was probably a little older than that when Hannah took him to the Tabernacle at Shiloh.
But these are the all-in years, aren’t they? Those first five to seven years, these are the all-in years. Especially the first four or so. I mean mom is the source of life for baby. That’s it. Dad, just stay out of the way so the baby will stay alive. Mom is the source of life. God made mom the source of life, I mean, physically and experientially, in every way. And these years mom is pouring her life, and pouring her life and pouring her life into her child. And most mothers are in heaven during those years, aren’t they? I don’t mean physically in heaven, I mean they are thinking and feeling “Oh this is heaven!”
“Yeah, but you haven’t slept.”
Dads for some reason don’t have the problem. They tend to say, “I didn’t hear a thing,” and act like they are asleep when the baby is crying in the middle of the night. But mothers are right awake, they are right there. Whenever the baby needs something they are right there, right there, right there. Every day, every hour, every minute.
And so Hannah says to her husband, “I’m pouring my life into our son. And then I am going to release him to the Lord. I’m pouring my life, I’m pouring my very self into this child and then I am going to release him to the Lord.”
(And here we go again with another example of how not to be a husband. It’s just true.)
After this great life’s goal commitment “I’m going to pour my life into my son and then release him to the Lord,” dad chimes in with another gem of wisdom in 1 Samuel 1:23.
1 Samuel 1:23 (NLT)
23 “Whatever you think is best,” . . .
Seriously, guys, we have to own that. How many times have I said to my wife, “Whatever you think is best, babe. You know. Whatever you think is best.”
Do you know why we say that? Can I just tell you? This is really important to me. We say that because we instinctively know that mothers do what is best for their children. When we say, “Whatever you think is best,” we might be trying to cop out of a decision, I hope not. Instead, I hope we are saying, “You know best. God made you to know what is best for this child. So you tell me what do we do?” Mothers do what is best for their children.
Again, without making this about me, let me just tell you this. In all of the dysfunction and all of the craziness that became my childhood, my mother never once made a decision that was not for my best. Every decision she made, in some pretty wild dysfunctional environments, every decision she made was for my best interest. And very often at extreme personal sacrifice. I cannot remember a decision that my mother made that wasn’t in my best interest. At least she thought it was in my best interest. Everything she did, she did for me and my brother. It was partly because I didn’t have a dad around to make those decisions, though I did have other family. But she never bailed out. And she never made a personal self-serving decision.
So I took a bunch of stuff out of this message and I called my mom yesterday. And I told her all of that personally. And she says, “Oh honey, you don’t have to tell me that.” She didn’t even want to hear it, you know. And she said, “It’s just what we do. It’s normal.”
“No mom, it’s not. It’s not normal.”
My mother never failed to make choices that were best for me. And then prayerfully, I hope, I’m thinking that in a less dysfunctional and less crazy environment, at least a different crazy environment, I watched my wife for thirty years, do the exact same thing with our children. Every decision she made was what was best for our kids. She’s the one! She’s the one. I’m doing something else. But she is saying, “What’s best for the kids, that’s what I am going to do.”
And then I say, “Whatever you think, babe. Whatever you think is best.” And honestly, I did everything by the power of God in me, to break that chain and to make sure I was there and part of those decisions. But still, honestly, God made Pam that way. And now, I promise you, I am literally watching my daughters and my daughter-in-law, do the exact same thing. “What’s best for my children? That’s what I’m going to do. What’s best for my children? That’s what I am going to do.” Don’t ever let this crazy culture bring you down to the equality of a man. Because a man is like, “Well, you know, what’s in it for me? That doesn’t feed my pride. It doesn’t get me any more money. You know, I’m not seen, it’s in the shadows.”
And the mom is saying, “Just let me give my life for my children.”
That is the heart of a mother, doing what is best for her children. That personal sacrifice.
So again, 1 Samuel 1:23.
1 Samuel 1:23 (NLT)
23 “Whatever you think is best,” Elkanah agreed. “Stay here for now, and may the Lord help you keep your promise.” So she stayed home and nursed the boy until he was weaned.
So knowing how badly Hannah wanted a baby, and knowing all that she had been through to have that baby from the Lord, and knowing all of her life that she had poured into that son, every moment of every day, finally it was time.
1 Samuel 1:24-28 (NLT)
24 When the child was weaned, Hannah took him to the Tabernacle in Shiloh. They brought along a three-year-old bull for the sacrifice and a basket of flour and some wine.
25 After sacrificing the bull, they brought the boy to Eli.
26 “Sir, do you remember me?” Hannah asked. “I am the very woman who stood here several years ago praying to the Lord.
27 I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and he has granted my request.
28 Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life.” And they worshiped the Lord there.
That is the heart of a mother that I want you to see. “I was dying to have a child, I was dying on the inside to have a child, and the Lord was gracious to me and gave me a son. And I’ve been pouring my life into this child since the day he was born. He’s been my everything, and now I’m giving him to the Lord.”
Do you see that? It’s big! It’s really, really big. “I am giving him to the Lord for his entire life because that was my promise to God and that’s what is best for him.”
And you know right at this moment, Hannah is dying inside again. She was dying inside over the fact that she couldn’t have a child. She was dying inside now that she is giving up her child. She goes right back to that same emotion.
Listen to me, please. That is what’s being a godly mother is about. I know if you’re a mother, you might be thinking, “I’m not going to be a mother.” No. This is so Christ-like. Men are so egotistical and prideful. And that is so Lucifer-like. Read Isaiah 14. Women are so sacrificial and selfless and so Christ-like and you see it in Hannah. “I wanted this child so bad. He means everything to me. I am going to give him to the Lord.”
And notice the end of verse 28. And they worshiped the Lord there.
I guarantee you for Hannah, it was worship through tears. It was tears of joy of being able to pour her life into Samuel. And it was tears of pain to release him to God’s will. But it was tears.
And so the first ten verses of the next chapter are incredible worship verses. Hannah’s worship poured out to the Lord. Very similar, if you compare the two, to the song of praise poured out by Mary, the mother of Jesus, in Luke Chapter 1.
A life marked by self-sacrifice and praise to God is the life of a godly mother.
Picking it up in 1Samuel Chapter 2:11.
1 Samuel 2:11 (NLT)
11 Then Elkanah returned home to Ramah without Samuel. And the boy served the Lord by assisting Eli the priest.
Indicating that at least by now Samuel was a little older. Or he stayed at Shiloh until he was older. But now he is in some way assisting Eli the priest.
Skip down to verse 18. This is so cute.
1 Samuel 2:18-19 (NLT)
18 But Samuel, though he was only a boy, served the Lord. He wore a linen garment like that of a priest.
19 Each year his mother made a small coat for him and brought it to him when she came with her husband for the sacrifice.
You know, right, that mothers never stop being mothers? You know that, right? Mothers never stop being mothers. I’m pretty sure that my wife Pam, brought my son a small coat every time we went to see him graduate to his next level to become an FMF Corpsman with the Navy. It’s like, another graduation. “Here’s a small coat I made you, son.”
“Yeah but, babe…”
“No, I just wanted to make him a small coat,” because she is his mother. “That’s my baby.”
Going off to save men under fire and lay his life down for our country, “But I made him a small coat because I’m his mother.”
Mothers never stop being mothers. No matter how old you are, no matter what condition you are in, as a child. No matter what you have done as a child. Your mother is your mother because that is the way God made her.
I’m really glad these next verses are here. These verses are the blessing in Hannah’s life as a mother, as having the heart of a mother.
1 Samuel 2:20-21 (NLT)
20 Before they returned home, Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife and say, “May the Lord give you other children to take the place of this one she gave to the Lord.”
21 And the Lord blessed Hannah, and she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile, Samuel grew up in the presence of the Lord.
Guys, God is so good. God is so good. There is so much agony in Hannah’s life before she had a child. So much sacrifice as she pours her life into Samuel. So much agony and loss again as she gives up her son. And then God blesses her with three more sons and two daughters! Amen.
Listen, God’s plan, when you can finally see it all, will be good. God’s plan when you can finally see it all will be good. The Lord blessed Hannah and gave her three more sons and two daughters while Samuel was growing up in the service of the Lord.
I know that not all stories have a happy ending. I know that, I’ve been doing this long enough to know that. But please hear me when I tell you, the story is not over and it will not be over until you see it all from the Lord’s perspective. Meaning you will be standing by his side and looking back from his perspective. The story is not over until that moment. And when you see things from his perspective, you will know that God is good. And you will know that he has been good in your life.
Samuel grew up to be one of Israel’s greatest prophets. He is used mightily. He is a huge figure in Israel’s history. The question today is, how much credit does Hannah get as his mother? Not much, right? Not much. Not much credit. Welcome to motherhood. She would have had no credit, wouldn’t even have had an honorable mention if God had not made sure this little window into her heart was written in his eternal Word.
And that is what being a mother is about. It’s about selfless sacrifice for the good of those God has given you. It’s about praising God in every circumstance and it’s about getting very little credit. Those are such Christ-like traits that you should never trade them for anything.
Selfless sacrifice. All praise to God. No credit. That’s the heart of a mother. And those are Christ-like characters.
I told you I called my mom yesterday. I tried to convey to her how much her life of sacrifice meant to me. It kind of made her a little uncomfortable. She is like, “Oh honey, you don’t have to say that.”
“No mom, seriously, I would not be alive today if you hadn’t been there protecting me and watching over me.”
“No, no, honey.”
I know this isn’t the case with all moms. I know, I know that. But listen, if it is the case with your mother, and if you can still call your mother and tell her, “Listen, I know to some extent what you sacrificed for my good. I know to some extent what you suffered on my behalf.”
If you can still call your mom and do that, then call your mother. Call your mother, tell her thanks, mom. Thanks for going through what you went through in order for me to be here today. That’s it. Thanks for being a mother.
If you are blessed to be a mother today, it is a high and a holy calling. Don’t let this ungodly, bent-for-hell culture confuse you. It is the most Christ-like character trait God has put into a person. So, thanks, moms.
I will just tell you, there is no way I would be standing here without my mom and the other mothers in my life. I could not wade in one inch of the ocean that my mother has been to me in my life. I genuinely cannot convey it to you. I can’t. Not to mention two incredible grandmothers who were just crucial in my youth.
I can’t begin to tell you how much my wife, as a mother, is responsible for all that our family is and is becoming. My kids and I today literally, I am telling you the truth, we stand on the foundation of the never-ending sacrifice of my wife, as a mother for thirty-six years. Again, I can’t convey how deep that truly is.
And now, incredibly, my daughters – as mothers – are displaying in their own families this incredible, miraculous, sacrificial love for their own families. And still, for me. And so, when I say the mothers in my life, I mean not just my mother, but my wife as mother, my daughters as mothers, miraculous mothers through extreme difficulty, (through a near-death experience for Danielle) my daughters have become miraculous mothers. Also, my daughter-in-law who is not only sacrificing her life for her own family but also for our country.
So I just want to stand here and shout out the awesomeness of mothers because of my life. I just want to say mothers are awesome, and great, incredible, and miraculous.
However, I do realize – I really do – that Mother’s Day can kind of be a double-edged sword, that it can actually bring pain and joy. Maybe especially if you’ve had a mother that has passed away, or a dysfunctional relationship either with your mother or as a mother, I realize there are trials and there are difficulties and there are decisions that we make in our lives that can easily leave a woman feeling condemned instead of encouraged on Mother’s Day. I realize that. And so if you have made decisions or mistakes in your life that you feel that have kept you from being a godly mother, or maybe even a Christian woman, or if you’ve had circumstances in your life that have prevented you from being the godly mother that you would like to be, here is my word to you from the Lord, Romans 8:1.
Romans 8:1 (NLT)
1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.
There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ, for those who belong to Christ. And so, false condemnation and all of the regrets and all of the guilt that we pile on ourselves, that is not from God. Conviction of sin is from God, but false condemnation and guilt and regret – the enemy uses that, and he enflames it in your life to do additional damage. Don’t be a victim to that attack, that ploy of the enemy. Please. I realize that there are those of us in this room.
I also know that my incredibly high opinion of mothers, unfortunately (because we live in a fallen world) does not apply to all mothers. And so, if my high opinion of mothers does not apply to your mother, I am sorry. I am just sorry. It’s just like my opinion of fathers might not apply to your father. And I’m sorry.
Again, all I can tell you is God pours out much more grace. He pours out more than sufficient grace for you to overcome, for you to be healed, to carry you through any shortcomings or sinful decisions or painful experiences that either you have experienced or maybe feel like you are part of inflicting. It’s complicated. That’s not why I avoid Mother’s Day messages, I already told you why. I just want to tell you I understand that there are struggles and difficulties because of what we have experienced.
Do you hear my heart on all that?
We are living in a phenomenal time in our culture, have you noticed? It’s a pretty radical time to be a Christian, especially a Bible-believing Christian. Our culture is committed to using any and all means necessary to force us, to militantly force us, to embrace their demands that every person gets to be whatever gender they want to be, at whatever time they want to be whatever gender, to whatever extent they want to be whatever gender, and at whatever level of offense that inflicts on others. So, while I can still speak freely about this, and that time I’m sure is limited if God doesn’t change the face of this country. While I can still speak freely, let me tell you please, God fundamentally made men and women different. I just have to tell the truth while I can. God created men and women differently.
I believe honestly, that our culture’s full-scale attack on that truth is maybe the largest de-valuing and discriminating thing that has ever occurred to women. To say that they are equal to men? It’s like, why would you put that hate speech on them? To bring them down to the level of a man? God didn’t. Why would you? It’s offensive and discriminating to say that women are only equal to men.
God created women, and especially mothers, please hear me, so unique. He so incredibly gifted them. He made them so sacrificially loving that God literally had to save them until the end of the creation process to create them. When God made woman in Genesis 2:18, she was made as the answer to the problem of man. Woman was made as the answer, as God’s answer, to the problem of man. And guys, that is still why God creates woman. And that is a hundred times truer with mothers. God creates them as the answer.
The Lord was at the end of the creation process, and he was preparing the final missing piece of his creation. And an angel came up to the Lord and said “Lord, why are you spending so much time on this final piece of your creation?”
And the Lord answered, “Have you seen the spec sheet on this one? She has to have over two hundred movable parts in order to do ten things at once and never wear out. She has to run on coffee and kid’s leftovers. She has to have a lap that she can hold three children in but magically disappears when she stands up. She has to have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart. And she has to work like she has six hands to do all that she is required to do simultaneously.”
The angel was astounded at the requirements for this final piece of creation. And the angel said, “Six hands…”
The Lord replied, “It’s not the hands that are the problem. She also has to have three pairs of eyes. She has to have one pair of eyes to see through closed doors and to see into closed hearts. She has to have another pair of eyes in the back of her head to see what others don’t think she can see. And she has to have a third pair of eyes to constantly look for that child who needs unconditional love and understanding.”
The angel protested. “Lord, it’s too much. It’s too much for one creation.”
And the Lord replied, “I haven’t even started yet. She has to be able to heal herself when she is sick, while she is feeding her family on whatever she happens to have in the cupboard, while she is doing homework for three kids at once, while the laundry is being done, and while she is carrying the emotional burden of every single person in the house.”
The angel was perplexed and he moved in closer and he touched the woman and he said, “But Lord, you’ve made her so soft.”
“She has to be soft,” the Lord said. “But I have also made her very tough. She will have no idea what she can endure or what she can accomplish.”
And then the angel noticed something on the woman’s cheek and he said, “Lord it looks like your prototype is leaking.”
“That’s not a leak,” the Lord said. “That’s a part of her greatest strength. You see, that tear will be the way of her expressing her joy and her sorrow. That tear will be her way of expressing her disappointment and her pain. That tear will be her way of expressing her loneliness and her grief – all while she continues to do what I’ve made her to do.”
The angel was impressed. He said, “You are incredible, Lord. You have truly made this one for everything.”
And the Lord looked down at the creation of woman and he said, “It’s because of what will be required of her.”
Moms, don’t you let someone say that you are only equal to a man. That is hate speech because God has made you to do what no man can do. God made you that way, it’s the heart he put in you.
In the time just before the Kings of Israel, God made Samuel, Israel’s last judge, and Israel’s first formal prophet. It was a crucial time for Israel. It was Samuel that God used to choose both of Israel’s first two kings – both Saul and King David. Samuel had a huge place in the history of Israel. And fortunately, God gave us a little baby window into the heart of Samuel’s mother, Hannah.
God going to use the determination, and the perseverance, and the dedication, and the heart he put into a mother in order for Hannah to raise up Samuel so that God can use Samuel to raise up the first kings of Israel.
She doesn’t get much credit, but God cracks a window open for us to see her heart, in 1 Samuel Chapter 1. It’s the heart of a godly mother. It opens in 1 Samuel 1:1.
1 Samuel 1:1-2 (NLT)
1 There was a man named Elkanah who lived in Ramah . . .
2 Elkanah had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah did not.
Hannah was probably the first wife of Elkanah. But, most likely, since Hannah was not able to have children, he married – maybe a concubine – Peninnah. Children were so important to the continuation of the family in that culture, that this was man’s normal fix. Please hear me; this was never condoned by God. But it was Israel and all the people’s normal fix.
And so Hannah is our focus. And Hannah’s story begins with a huge hole in her heart. A hole that some of you have experienced. It’s so hard on women who desire so badly to have children. Pam and I experienced that hole in our lives for seven years. It took seven years and a ton of prayer by this little church we were going to, and a lot of doctor stuff, before the Lord gave us our first child. But those seven years were really hard. And there are women in this room who are in that same place, and we understand that there is a hole in your heart when you are in that place.
Hopefully, none of you have a second wife in your home who is constantly taunting you about it. Okay? It’s bad enough if you can’t have children. But when you have a second wife who is making fun of you and taunting you and always poking at you about it, that’s when you have a rough row to hoe.
1 Samuel 1:3-5 (NLT)
3 Each year Elkanah would travel to Shiloh to worship and sacrifice to the Lord of Heaven’s Armies at the Tabernacle . . .
4 On the days Elkanah presented his sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to Peninnah and each of her children.
5 And though he loved Hannah, he would give her only one choice portion because the Lord had given her no children.
If you’re reading a literal translation it may say “double portion” there. Honestly, the word much more likely means the “choice” portion. The word literally in Hebrew means “the face” and so it is a little hard to translate. But most likely it means the choicest portion. Hannah couldn’t have more than one portion because she had no children. And so Elkanah would give her the choice portion to show his love for her.
Peninnah was a little different. She was the “other wife.” (This is long before all these wacky “Real Housewives” shows. Really, honestly, if you watch them, stop it. Seriously.) This is long before the “Real Housewives of Ramah” ever came. But Peninnah would have been a star of this one. She made sure that Hannah felt the full sting of the hole in her heart from not being able to have children.
1 Samuel 1:6 (NLT)
6 So Peninnah would taunt Hannah and make fun of her because the Lord had kept her from having children.
In that time you were considered cursed by God if you could not have children. And Peninnah made sure Hannah knew that. I know women today who feel the same struggle. And they say to me what people far too often say to me, “Why did God do this to me?” If you are living with something in your life that you are mistakenly saying that about, come see me and let me help you understand.
So for Hannah, this is like brutal torture with the other wife, the real housewife of Ramah, Peninnah, saying to, always to her, torturing her with the fact that she could not have children – year, after year, after year, after year.
1 Samuel 1:7 (NLT)
7 year after year it was the same—Peninnah would taunt Hannah as they went to the Tabernacle. Each time, Hannah would be reduced to tears and would not even eat.
Some of you know what Hannah is going through. This is the deepest pain for the heart of a mother. Peninnah is taunting, making fun. Hannah is too broken to fight back. She can’t do anything about it. And so she would be reduced to tears, not even able to eat.
But, never fear. Hubby is here. Oh, her husband can fix it. And so, the husband is going to ride in on the white horse and fix everything. Alright, men, this is your part of the lesson. Please, for your wife’s sake, listen closely.
1 Samuel 1:8 (NLT)
8 “Why are you crying, Hannah?” Elkanah would ask. “Why aren’t you eating? Why be downhearted just because you have no children? You have me - isn’t that better than having ten sons?”
Listen, men, some of the best advice I can give you is, besides having a real relationship with Jesus Christ, it’s best most of the time to just keep your mouth shut. I mean, really, honestly. Proverbs says a fool when he is silent is considered to be wise. And if you’re thinking something is stupid like this, just keep your mouth shut so they don’t know about it. Why be downhearted just because you have no children? You have me - isn’t that better than having ten sons?”
Year after year it was getting too much for Hannah and her husband wasn’t helping. And so we read in 1 Samuel 1:9,
1 Samuel 1:9-11 (NLT)
9 Once after a sacrificial meal at Shiloh, Hannah got up and went to pray. Eli the priest was sitting at his customary place beside the entrance of the Tabernacle.
10 Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.
11 And she made this vow: “O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the Lord, his hair will never be cut.”
That’s it right there. That is the heart of a godly mother right there. Hannah is dying on the inside to have a child. She is in deep anguish, she is crying out to the Lord of Heaven’s Armies which is God’s battle name. That is his victory name. And she says, O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will hear my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. You have to read between the lines and see the heart of a mother right there. If you’ll give me a son that I can pour my life into, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours his entire life and as a SIGN - his hair will never be cut, which is a reference to the Nazarite vow, for children who have been dedicated to the service of the Lord.
That right there, that’s how a mother’s heart works. Lord, more than anything else in the world, I want so badly to have a child. And if you’ll answer my prayer, I won’t hold on to the child forever, but if I can just pour my life into this child, I’ll give him back to you for his entire life. And maybe you’d say, “Well, that doesn’t make sense.” If she wants a child so badly, why would she give him back to the Lord? And I would tell you because that is the heart of a mother. The heart of a mother is genuine self-sacrifice and that is what you are seeing Hannah beg for right now. She is saying, “Lord allow me to give my life for a child. Allow me to sacrifice my life for a child. Not for my sake, but because my heart desires to pour my life into a child’s life.” Do you get it? “And then I’ll give him back to you.” That’s the heart of a mother.
And so, Hannah prays this deep heartfelt prayer. And the priest Eli hears her praying, and they have an odd interaction. And then Eli the priest says to Hannah, “Go in peace. May God grant you your request.” And Hannah leaves the Tabernacle that year encouraged because Eli said this. He didn’t even hear the prayer, he thought she was drunk. But he says, “Go in peace. May God grant you your request.”
We skip down to 1 Samuel 1:19.
1 Samuel 1:19-20 (NLT)
19 The entire family got up early the next morning and went to worship the Lord once more. Then they returned home to Ramah. When Elkanah slept with Hannah, the Lord remembered her plea,
20 and in due time she gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, “I asked the Lord for him.”
After all that, after all that Hannah has been through, after all the torment from the “other wife,” after all of the crying out to God, after all of the grief that she carried, after all that, God says “in due time.” In due time. In due time, God gave Hannah a son.
If you, like Pam and I, have experienced that “in due time,” we can’t yet know why. We will someday, but not here. But if you’re in that “due time,” hold on. God is faithful to complete the work he started.
And so now, Hannah has a son that she has cried out for. It’s everything she has hoped for. It’s everything she has wanted. It’s all that she has been living for. And so she starts to pour her life into this child. He becomes her everything. He becomes her everything. And during those crucial years when she is just pouring her life into her new son, her miracle baby, pouring her life, and pouring her life, she didn’t even go with the family when they went back to Shiloh to worship at the Tabernacle.
1 Samuel 1:21-22 (NLT)
21 The next year Elkanah and his family went on their annual trip to offer a sacrifice to the Lord and to keep his vow.
22 But Hannah did not go. She told her husband, “Wait until the boy is weaned. Then I will take him to the Tabernacle and leave him there with the Lord permanently.”
The word “weaned” generally means somewhere between three and five years old. But you’re going to see in a minute that Samuel was probably a little older than that when Hannah took him to the Tabernacle at Shiloh.
But these are the all-in years, aren’t they? Those first five to seven years, these are the all-in years. Especially the first four or so. I mean mom is the source of life for baby. That’s it. Dad, just stay out of the way so the baby will stay alive. Mom is the source of life. God made mom the source of life, I mean, physically and experientially, in every way. And these years mom is pouring her life, and pouring her life and pouring her life into her child. And most mothers are in heaven during those years, aren’t they? I don’t mean physically in heaven, I mean they are thinking and feeling “Oh this is heaven!”
“Yeah, but you haven’t slept.”
Dads for some reason don’t have the problem. They tend to say, “I didn’t hear a thing,” and act like they are asleep when the baby is crying in the middle of the night. But mothers are right awake, they are right there. Whenever the baby needs something they are right there, right there, right there. Every day, every hour, every minute.
And so Hannah says to her husband, “I’m pouring my life into our son. And then I am going to release him to the Lord. I’m pouring my life, I’m pouring my very self into this child and then I am going to release him to the Lord.”
(And here we go again with another example of how not to be a husband. It’s just true.)
After this great life’s goal commitment “I’m going to pour my life into my son and then release him to the Lord,” dad chimes in with another gem of wisdom in 1 Samuel 1:23.
1 Samuel 1:23 (NLT)
23 “Whatever you think is best,” . . .
Seriously, guys, we have to own that. How many times have I said to my wife, “Whatever you think is best, babe. You know. Whatever you think is best.”
Do you know why we say that? Can I just tell you? This is really important to me. We say that because we instinctively know that mothers do what is best for their children. When we say, “Whatever you think is best,” we might be trying to cop out of a decision, I hope not. Instead, I hope we are saying, “You know best. God made you to know what is best for this child. So you tell me what do we do?” Mothers do what is best for their children.
Again, without making this about me, let me just tell you this. In all of the dysfunction and all of the craziness that became my childhood, my mother never once made a decision that was not for my best. Every decision she made, in some pretty wild dysfunctional environments, every decision she made was for my best interest. And very often at extreme personal sacrifice. I cannot remember a decision that my mother made that wasn’t in my best interest. At least she thought it was in my best interest. Everything she did, she did for me and my brother. It was partly because I didn’t have a dad around to make those decisions, though I did have other family. But she never bailed out. And she never made a personal self-serving decision.
So I took a bunch of stuff out of this message and I called my mom yesterday. And I told her all of that personally. And she says, “Oh honey, you don’t have to tell me that.” She didn’t even want to hear it, you know. And she said, “It’s just what we do. It’s normal.”
“No mom, it’s not. It’s not normal.”
My mother never failed to make choices that were best for me. And then prayerfully, I hope, I’m thinking that in a less dysfunctional and less crazy environment, at least a different crazy environment, I watched my wife for thirty years, do the exact same thing with our children. Every decision she made was what was best for our kids. She’s the one! She’s the one. I’m doing something else. But she is saying, “What’s best for the kids, that’s what I am going to do.”
And then I say, “Whatever you think, babe. Whatever you think is best.” And honestly, I did everything by the power of God in me, to break that chain and to make sure I was there and part of those decisions. But still, honestly, God made Pam that way. And now, I promise you, I am literally watching my daughters and my daughter-in-law, do the exact same thing. “What’s best for my children? That’s what I’m going to do. What’s best for my children? That’s what I am going to do.” Don’t ever let this crazy culture bring you down to the equality of a man. Because a man is like, “Well, you know, what’s in it for me? That doesn’t feed my pride. It doesn’t get me any more money. You know, I’m not seen, it’s in the shadows.”
And the mom is saying, “Just let me give my life for my children.”
That is the heart of a mother, doing what is best for her children. That personal sacrifice.
So again, 1 Samuel 1:23.
1 Samuel 1:23 (NLT)
23 “Whatever you think is best,” Elkanah agreed. “Stay here for now, and may the Lord help you keep your promise.” So she stayed home and nursed the boy until he was weaned.
So knowing how badly Hannah wanted a baby, and knowing all that she had been through to have that baby from the Lord, and knowing all of her life that she had poured into that son, every moment of every day, finally it was time.
1 Samuel 1:24-28 (NLT)
24 When the child was weaned, Hannah took him to the Tabernacle in Shiloh. They brought along a three-year-old bull for the sacrifice and a basket of flour and some wine.
25 After sacrificing the bull, they brought the boy to Eli.
26 “Sir, do you remember me?” Hannah asked. “I am the very woman who stood here several years ago praying to the Lord.
27 I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and he has granted my request.
28 Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life.” And they worshiped the Lord there.
That is the heart of a mother that I want you to see. “I was dying to have a child, I was dying on the inside to have a child, and the Lord was gracious to me and gave me a son. And I’ve been pouring my life into this child since the day he was born. He’s been my everything, and now I’m giving him to the Lord.”
Do you see that? It’s big! It’s really, really big. “I am giving him to the Lord for his entire life because that was my promise to God and that’s what is best for him.”
And you know right at this moment, Hannah is dying inside again. She was dying inside over the fact that she couldn’t have a child. She was dying inside now that she is giving up her child. She goes right back to that same emotion.
Listen to me, please. That is what’s being a godly mother is about. I know if you’re a mother, you might be thinking, “I’m not going to be a mother.” No. This is so Christ-like. Men are so egotistical and prideful. And that is so Lucifer-like. Read Isaiah 14. Women are so sacrificial and selfless and so Christ-like and you see it in Hannah. “I wanted this child so bad. He means everything to me. I am going to give him to the Lord.”
And notice the end of verse 28. And they worshiped the Lord there.
I guarantee you for Hannah, it was worship through tears. It was tears of joy of being able to pour her life into Samuel. And it was tears of pain to release him to God’s will. But it was tears.
And so the first ten verses of the next chapter are incredible worship verses. Hannah’s worship poured out to the Lord. Very similar, if you compare the two, to the song of praise poured out by Mary, the mother of Jesus, in Luke Chapter 1.
A life marked by self-sacrifice and praise to God is the life of a godly mother.
Picking it up in 1Samuel Chapter 2:11.
1 Samuel 2:11 (NLT)
11 Then Elkanah returned home to Ramah without Samuel. And the boy served the Lord by assisting Eli the priest.
Indicating that at least by now Samuel was a little older. Or he stayed at Shiloh until he was older. But now he is in some way assisting Eli the priest.
Skip down to verse 18. This is so cute.
1 Samuel 2:18-19 (NLT)
18 But Samuel, though he was only a boy, served the Lord. He wore a linen garment like that of a priest.
19 Each year his mother made a small coat for him and brought it to him when she came with her husband for the sacrifice.
You know, right, that mothers never stop being mothers? You know that, right? Mothers never stop being mothers. I’m pretty sure that my wife Pam, brought my son a small coat every time we went to see him graduate to his next level to become an FMF Corpsman with the Navy. It’s like, another graduation. “Here’s a small coat I made you, son.”
“Yeah but, babe…”
“No, I just wanted to make him a small coat,” because she is his mother. “That’s my baby.”
Going off to save men under fire and lay his life down for our country, “But I made him a small coat because I’m his mother.”
Mothers never stop being mothers. No matter how old you are, no matter what condition you are in, as a child. No matter what you have done as a child. Your mother is your mother because that is the way God made her.
I’m really glad these next verses are here. These verses are the blessing in Hannah’s life as a mother, as having the heart of a mother.
1 Samuel 2:20-21 (NLT)
20 Before they returned home, Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife and say, “May the Lord give you other children to take the place of this one she gave to the Lord.”
21 And the Lord blessed Hannah, and she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile, Samuel grew up in the presence of the Lord.
Guys, God is so good. God is so good. There is so much agony in Hannah’s life before she had a child. So much sacrifice as she pours her life into Samuel. So much agony and loss again as she gives up her son. And then God blesses her with three more sons and two daughters! Amen.
Listen, God’s plan, when you can finally see it all, will be good. God’s plan when you can finally see it all will be good. The Lord blessed Hannah and gave her three more sons and two daughters while Samuel was growing up in the service of the Lord.
I know that not all stories have a happy ending. I know that, I’ve been doing this long enough to know that. But please hear me when I tell you, the story is not over and it will not be over until you see it all from the Lord’s perspective. Meaning you will be standing by his side and looking back from his perspective. The story is not over until that moment. And when you see things from his perspective, you will know that God is good. And you will know that he has been good in your life.
Samuel grew up to be one of Israel’s greatest prophets. He is used mightily. He is a huge figure in Israel’s history. The question today is, how much credit does Hannah get as his mother? Not much, right? Not much. Not much credit. Welcome to motherhood. She would have had no credit, wouldn’t even have had an honorable mention if God had not made sure this little window into her heart was written in his eternal Word.
And that is what being a mother is about. It’s about selfless sacrifice for the good of those God has given you. It’s about praising God in every circumstance and it’s about getting very little credit. Those are such Christ-like traits that you should never trade them for anything.
Selfless sacrifice. All praise to God. No credit. That’s the heart of a mother. And those are Christ-like characters.
I told you I called my mom yesterday. I tried to convey to her how much her life of sacrifice meant to me. It kind of made her a little uncomfortable. She is like, “Oh honey, you don’t have to say that.”
“No mom, seriously, I would not be alive today if you hadn’t been there protecting me and watching over me.”
“No, no, honey.”
I know this isn’t the case with all moms. I know, I know that. But listen, if it is the case with your mother, and if you can still call your mother and tell her, “Listen, I know to some extent what you sacrificed for my good. I know to some extent what you suffered on my behalf.”
If you can still call your mom and do that, then call your mother. Call your mother, tell her thanks, mom. Thanks for going through what you went through in order for me to be here today. That’s it. Thanks for being a mother.
If you are blessed to be a mother today, it is a high and a holy calling. Don’t let this ungodly, bent-for-hell culture confuse you. It is the most Christ-like character trait God has put into a person. So, thanks, moms.