Hiding From Reality
2 Timothy 3:7
Message #5
I used to do a Most Important Point (M.I.P.) for every message. Well, here is today’s M.I.P.
Justifying being offended prevents us from seeing what God wants to do in us – because we are so focused on blaming the other person.
We’re working through my take on the book “The Bait of Satan” by John Bevere, and today’s message comes from chapter 6. I love the title of this particular chapter, “Hiding From Reality.” With that title in mind, listen again to today’s M.I.P.
Justifying being offended prevents us from seeing what God wants to do in us – because we are so focused on blaming the other person.
This is our fifth message in the “Bait of Satan” series (they all build on one another), and all of these messages are meant to be taken very personally. But this one might take some additional courage (on our part) to allow the Holy Spirit to speak this truth into our lives.
In 2 Timothy Chapter 3, Paul is speaking of those who are easily led astray.
2 Timothy 3:7 (ESV)
7 (they are) always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.
These people are always listening to teaching – but they are never able to APPLY the truth to their own lives, and that is the danger of our message today. It takes courage to truly apply this truth to our own lives.
But God’s truth must be applied to our lives – personally.
If we are ever going to be “truly changed” by God. We can’t just listen to God’s Word. We’ve got to actually apply it to our own lives.
So, let's start today with one of the enemy’s most successful tactics to damage people and churches.
This “Bait of Satan” is getting people to wrongly leave a church when they feel offended, and then getting them to hold on to that offense as they continue to do damage AS they go from church to church.
Now, visiting churches and taking time to see if a church is where God has called you, is great (and you should do that). But once we come to believe that God has planted us in a church, why, when we are offended, are we so quick to leave that church (usually with a critical split)? What happened to us believing that God planted us in that church?
Does the fact that we took the Bait of Offense mean that God no longer wants us in that church? What if that event – where we became offended – was actually meant by God to mature us and to transform us through that offense?
What if IN that offense God wanted to heal something in US, right in that church where we were offended?
And what if we don’t stay and allow God to mature us through that offense? Is there a chance that we’ll just face a similar offense in the next church we go to?
Now, God does call us to move from one church to another (I’m not saying he doesn’t do that). But our question for today is, How can you know if you’re leaving a church because you have taken the Bait of Offense – or if you are leaving a church because God is truly leading you to leave?
To know which one it is, you have to be honest with yourself, and you have to be honest with the Holy Spirit.
And, if you will not hide from the reality of your own heart condition, God actually makes it really easy to know whether you are leaving a church because you are holding an offense and if you are leaving because the Holy Spirit is truly doing something good in you.
As a test for deciding to leave a church, John Bevere uses Isaiah 55, verse 12.
Isaiah 55:12 (NKJV)
12 “For you shall go out with joy, And be led out with peace; The mountains and the hills Shall break forth into singing before you . . .
Guys, we have to be honest with ourselves and ask is that truly how I am “going out” of one church family and “going into” another? Am I going out with joy? Am I being led out with peace? And is God paving my way with rejoicing?
And listen, guys. Being honest with ourselves about what is IN our heart – is the hard part.
Most offended Christians hide from the reality of the sins of the flesh in their own lives by focusing on blaming the person (or church) they feel has offended them.
Let me repeat that.
When it comes to “taking this Bait of Offense,” most offended Christians hide from the reality of the sins of the flesh in their own lives by focusing on blaming the person (or church) they feel has offended them. And THAT is the problem. We are acting like “Good Christians” but we are hiding from the reality of our own heart condition.
But listen, please. The Holy Spirit has already revealed to us whether our feelings and our actions are being driven BY the works of the flesh or by the fruit of the Holy Spirit. God has made it so easy to know that he put it in two lists for us – right in the Word of God. We just have to be courageous enough to apply the lists to our own hearts and our own lives. This is the reality that many of us are hiding from.
Turn over to Galatians Chapter 5. I did a message some time ago called, “Spirit or Flesh” and if today’s message hits home to you, you can find the message on the website or by searching, “Spirit or Flesh” in the “Search Media” box at the top of all our messages.
But for today, I want to stay focused on the fact that we are often hiding from the reality that it is our own sin nature that is fueling the fire of offense in our hearts. Look at Galatians 5, verses 19-20.
Galatians 5:19-20 (NLT)
19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature (your flesh), the results are very clear . . . (then, skip down a few words, to (in verse 20)) hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, (and in verse 21) envy . . .
Very, very seldom do we, as good church-going Christians, admit even to ourselves the reality that we are struggling with these inner feelings of hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy.
Guys, in as much love and gentleness as I can muster, please hear me when I say when we take up an offense in the church, we are generally struggling with our own flesh in some way.
I just don’t like that person (Hostility)
They’re wrong – and I wish I could tell them to their face (quarreling)
I kinda feel JEALOUS of their position in the church
I’d like to give them a piece of my mind (anger)
I could do a better job if I was in their position (selfish ambition)
I just have to talk to my friends about them, for prayer (dissension)
I can’t help it if my friends feel the same way as me (division)
I wish the leadership would listen to me (envy)
Often when we take up an offense in the church, we are hiding from the reality that these sins of the flesh are in our heart and we get really good at covering up these sins by acting very spiritual.
But when we are able to crucify these works of the flesh in our hearts, then we will begin to see the Fruit of the Spirit come out of us instead of the sins of the flesh, and the Fruit of the Spirit is listed in the very next verse.
Galatians 5:22–23 (NLT)
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, and self-control . . .
Guys, it’s about being honest, and saying, are these things coming out of my life towards this person who I think has offended me? Am I showing them these nine Fruits of the Spirit? Or is there a chance that some of the flesh is kind of showing up inside my heart – even if I’m pretending that it’s not?
If we will refuse to hide from the reality of the condition of our own heart then we’ll never allow God to heal us. Because healing starts with confession. “Lord, that’s actually me.” Paul says, “I’m the chief of all sinners. I recognize…” Romans Chapter 7. He says, “What I want to do, I don’t do. What I don’t want to do, I do. Who can help me?” “The Holy Spirit,” he says at the end of that section.
These two lists will help us determine. And as we go through this process, step-by-step, and right now we are at the step where you “come to grips” with it. “This might actually be ME. This offense that I’m taking, might actually have something to do with my own heart.” And we get honest with ourselves and with God. And when we do, it won’t be hard for us to determine if we are being controlled by the sins of the flesh or by the Fruit of the Spirit.
God wants to transform us and mature us through the offense we have taken up in the church. We want to be transformed. We want to be healed. We want to be matured. We want to be filled with the Spirit and led by the Spirit. But in order to do that we have to be honest with ourselves, not “acting like a Christian” but being open, and honest, and real with God.
We have to say, “God, actually I think my flesh is driving my response in this matter. I don’t think the Fruit of the Spirit is driving my response.” All we have to do is be honest with ourselves and with God about how much our flesh is driving our feelings and our actions.
And then, once we stop hiding from that reality, we can begin focusing on God using this offense to transform us and mature us, heal us. We say, “God, heal me. Heal me.”
But there is a false sense of self-protection in us holding onto an offense, isn’t there? Because if we can stay consumed with what someone else has supposedly done to us, we will never have to deal with our own sin nature. We’ll never have to face our role in the situation or face our own spiritual immaturity in handling it.
And IF we do that, we will completely miss God ever transforming us or maturing us through that offense, and we will completely miss the opportunity to learn how to walk in the Spirit instead of the flesh.
And please believe me when I say, IF we take that way out, if we miss the opportunity for God to heal us, to transform us in an offense, we may very well live in a never-ending cycle of being offended and leaving churches. Because when we hold on to an offense and leave a church with that offense, we will take that offense with us into the next church we enter, and the next church, and the next… We have to say, “God, what have I done? What role do I have in this? Where am I?”
There’s a story of an old elder in a small-town church who made a point of meeting every new family that would come to visit the church, and inevitably the visiting family would ask the old elder what the people in the church were like. And he would always answer them with a question. “What were the people like in the last church you were in?”
And some would say, “The church we came from was full of hypocrisy, and back-biting, and in-fighting, and cliques.” And the old elder would say, “This church will be the same as the one you left,” and those people would quickly move on.
And when the elder would ask some families, “What were the people like in the last church you were in?” And they would say, “Our last church was wonderful, we loved the people, and we loved the church, and we saw God work there.” Then the old elder would answer with the same answer. “This church will be the same as the one you left.”
Sometimes we fail to understand that the church becomes (to us) just what we make it, and sometimes we fail to take responsibility for our part in what WE have made the church to BE.
If we respond to the Bait of Offense – in the flesh, then the church will be what we have made it. And if we respond to the Bait of Offense – in the Spirit, then the church will be what we have made it.
God’s refining of us always includes difficulties and trials because difficulties and trials are what bring out the things God wants to transform in us. But if we make our offense all about the other person’s fault (or all the church’s fault) we will never face, or deal with, our own sin nature in this area.
Consider James 1, verses 2-4. We have to change the way we view offense. Remember, we’re talking about offense. We need to change the way we view offense when someone either really offends us, or if we think they offend us (which is the majority of the time).
James 1:2–4 (NLT)
2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.
3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect (mature) and complete, needing nothing.
The Lord wants to heal our wounds in the area of offense in the church but too often, we refuse to join him and we run away bitter and angry instead. The road to healing and to not taking this “Bait of Satan” is a road of humility and of confession of our own sin nature. Pride cannot travel this road. Our pride in this area must be crushed then we will be able to be used by God for peace and unity instead of being used by the enemy for dissension and division.
One last encouragement today on how we are called to handle the “Bait of Offense.”
Colossians 3:12–13 (NLT)
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Don’t take the “Bait of Satan” and don’t run from God’s opportunity to transform you and mature you.
And let me say, this process begins by you going to that person who has offended you, and in humility – asking what their intentions were in their actions that caused you offense, and then asking them to forgive you for being offended BY their actions.
Justifying being offended prevents us from seeing what God wants to do in us – because we are so focused on blaming the other person.
We’re working through my take on the book “The Bait of Satan” by John Bevere, and today’s message comes from chapter 6. I love the title of this particular chapter, “Hiding From Reality.” With that title in mind, listen again to today’s M.I.P.
Justifying being offended prevents us from seeing what God wants to do in us – because we are so focused on blaming the other person.
This is our fifth message in the “Bait of Satan” series (they all build on one another), and all of these messages are meant to be taken very personally. But this one might take some additional courage (on our part) to allow the Holy Spirit to speak this truth into our lives.
In 2 Timothy Chapter 3, Paul is speaking of those who are easily led astray.
2 Timothy 3:7 (ESV)
7 (they are) always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.
These people are always listening to teaching – but they are never able to APPLY the truth to their own lives, and that is the danger of our message today. It takes courage to truly apply this truth to our own lives.
But God’s truth must be applied to our lives – personally.
If we are ever going to be “truly changed” by God. We can’t just listen to God’s Word. We’ve got to actually apply it to our own lives.
So, let's start today with one of the enemy’s most successful tactics to damage people and churches.
This “Bait of Satan” is getting people to wrongly leave a church when they feel offended, and then getting them to hold on to that offense as they continue to do damage AS they go from church to church.
Now, visiting churches and taking time to see if a church is where God has called you, is great (and you should do that). But once we come to believe that God has planted us in a church, why, when we are offended, are we so quick to leave that church (usually with a critical split)? What happened to us believing that God planted us in that church?
Does the fact that we took the Bait of Offense mean that God no longer wants us in that church? What if that event – where we became offended – was actually meant by God to mature us and to transform us through that offense?
What if IN that offense God wanted to heal something in US, right in that church where we were offended?
And what if we don’t stay and allow God to mature us through that offense? Is there a chance that we’ll just face a similar offense in the next church we go to?
Now, God does call us to move from one church to another (I’m not saying he doesn’t do that). But our question for today is, How can you know if you’re leaving a church because you have taken the Bait of Offense – or if you are leaving a church because God is truly leading you to leave?
To know which one it is, you have to be honest with yourself, and you have to be honest with the Holy Spirit.
And, if you will not hide from the reality of your own heart condition, God actually makes it really easy to know whether you are leaving a church because you are holding an offense and if you are leaving because the Holy Spirit is truly doing something good in you.
As a test for deciding to leave a church, John Bevere uses Isaiah 55, verse 12.
Isaiah 55:12 (NKJV)
12 “For you shall go out with joy, And be led out with peace; The mountains and the hills Shall break forth into singing before you . . .
Guys, we have to be honest with ourselves and ask is that truly how I am “going out” of one church family and “going into” another? Am I going out with joy? Am I being led out with peace? And is God paving my way with rejoicing?
And listen, guys. Being honest with ourselves about what is IN our heart – is the hard part.
Most offended Christians hide from the reality of the sins of the flesh in their own lives by focusing on blaming the person (or church) they feel has offended them.
Let me repeat that.
When it comes to “taking this Bait of Offense,” most offended Christians hide from the reality of the sins of the flesh in their own lives by focusing on blaming the person (or church) they feel has offended them. And THAT is the problem. We are acting like “Good Christians” but we are hiding from the reality of our own heart condition.
But listen, please. The Holy Spirit has already revealed to us whether our feelings and our actions are being driven BY the works of the flesh or by the fruit of the Holy Spirit. God has made it so easy to know that he put it in two lists for us – right in the Word of God. We just have to be courageous enough to apply the lists to our own hearts and our own lives. This is the reality that many of us are hiding from.
Turn over to Galatians Chapter 5. I did a message some time ago called, “Spirit or Flesh” and if today’s message hits home to you, you can find the message on the website or by searching, “Spirit or Flesh” in the “Search Media” box at the top of all our messages.
But for today, I want to stay focused on the fact that we are often hiding from the reality that it is our own sin nature that is fueling the fire of offense in our hearts. Look at Galatians 5, verses 19-20.
Galatians 5:19-20 (NLT)
19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature (your flesh), the results are very clear . . . (then, skip down a few words, to (in verse 20)) hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, (and in verse 21) envy . . .
Very, very seldom do we, as good church-going Christians, admit even to ourselves the reality that we are struggling with these inner feelings of hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy.
Guys, in as much love and gentleness as I can muster, please hear me when I say when we take up an offense in the church, we are generally struggling with our own flesh in some way.
I just don’t like that person (Hostility)
They’re wrong – and I wish I could tell them to their face (quarreling)
I kinda feel JEALOUS of their position in the church
I’d like to give them a piece of my mind (anger)
I could do a better job if I was in their position (selfish ambition)
I just have to talk to my friends about them, for prayer (dissension)
I can’t help it if my friends feel the same way as me (division)
I wish the leadership would listen to me (envy)
Often when we take up an offense in the church, we are hiding from the reality that these sins of the flesh are in our heart and we get really good at covering up these sins by acting very spiritual.
But when we are able to crucify these works of the flesh in our hearts, then we will begin to see the Fruit of the Spirit come out of us instead of the sins of the flesh, and the Fruit of the Spirit is listed in the very next verse.
Galatians 5:22–23 (NLT)
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, and self-control . . .
Guys, it’s about being honest, and saying, are these things coming out of my life towards this person who I think has offended me? Am I showing them these nine Fruits of the Spirit? Or is there a chance that some of the flesh is kind of showing up inside my heart – even if I’m pretending that it’s not?
If we will refuse to hide from the reality of the condition of our own heart then we’ll never allow God to heal us. Because healing starts with confession. “Lord, that’s actually me.” Paul says, “I’m the chief of all sinners. I recognize…” Romans Chapter 7. He says, “What I want to do, I don’t do. What I don’t want to do, I do. Who can help me?” “The Holy Spirit,” he says at the end of that section.
These two lists will help us determine. And as we go through this process, step-by-step, and right now we are at the step where you “come to grips” with it. “This might actually be ME. This offense that I’m taking, might actually have something to do with my own heart.” And we get honest with ourselves and with God. And when we do, it won’t be hard for us to determine if we are being controlled by the sins of the flesh or by the Fruit of the Spirit.
God wants to transform us and mature us through the offense we have taken up in the church. We want to be transformed. We want to be healed. We want to be matured. We want to be filled with the Spirit and led by the Spirit. But in order to do that we have to be honest with ourselves, not “acting like a Christian” but being open, and honest, and real with God.
We have to say, “God, actually I think my flesh is driving my response in this matter. I don’t think the Fruit of the Spirit is driving my response.” All we have to do is be honest with ourselves and with God about how much our flesh is driving our feelings and our actions.
And then, once we stop hiding from that reality, we can begin focusing on God using this offense to transform us and mature us, heal us. We say, “God, heal me. Heal me.”
But there is a false sense of self-protection in us holding onto an offense, isn’t there? Because if we can stay consumed with what someone else has supposedly done to us, we will never have to deal with our own sin nature. We’ll never have to face our role in the situation or face our own spiritual immaturity in handling it.
And IF we do that, we will completely miss God ever transforming us or maturing us through that offense, and we will completely miss the opportunity to learn how to walk in the Spirit instead of the flesh.
And please believe me when I say, IF we take that way out, if we miss the opportunity for God to heal us, to transform us in an offense, we may very well live in a never-ending cycle of being offended and leaving churches. Because when we hold on to an offense and leave a church with that offense, we will take that offense with us into the next church we enter, and the next church, and the next… We have to say, “God, what have I done? What role do I have in this? Where am I?”
There’s a story of an old elder in a small-town church who made a point of meeting every new family that would come to visit the church, and inevitably the visiting family would ask the old elder what the people in the church were like. And he would always answer them with a question. “What were the people like in the last church you were in?”
And some would say, “The church we came from was full of hypocrisy, and back-biting, and in-fighting, and cliques.” And the old elder would say, “This church will be the same as the one you left,” and those people would quickly move on.
And when the elder would ask some families, “What were the people like in the last church you were in?” And they would say, “Our last church was wonderful, we loved the people, and we loved the church, and we saw God work there.” Then the old elder would answer with the same answer. “This church will be the same as the one you left.”
Sometimes we fail to understand that the church becomes (to us) just what we make it, and sometimes we fail to take responsibility for our part in what WE have made the church to BE.
If we respond to the Bait of Offense – in the flesh, then the church will be what we have made it. And if we respond to the Bait of Offense – in the Spirit, then the church will be what we have made it.
God’s refining of us always includes difficulties and trials because difficulties and trials are what bring out the things God wants to transform in us. But if we make our offense all about the other person’s fault (or all the church’s fault) we will never face, or deal with, our own sin nature in this area.
Consider James 1, verses 2-4. We have to change the way we view offense. Remember, we’re talking about offense. We need to change the way we view offense when someone either really offends us, or if we think they offend us (which is the majority of the time).
James 1:2–4 (NLT)
2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.
3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect (mature) and complete, needing nothing.
The Lord wants to heal our wounds in the area of offense in the church but too often, we refuse to join him and we run away bitter and angry instead. The road to healing and to not taking this “Bait of Satan” is a road of humility and of confession of our own sin nature. Pride cannot travel this road. Our pride in this area must be crushed then we will be able to be used by God for peace and unity instead of being used by the enemy for dissension and division.
One last encouragement today on how we are called to handle the “Bait of Offense.”
Colossians 3:12–13 (NLT)
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Don’t take the “Bait of Satan” and don’t run from God’s opportunity to transform you and mature you.
And let me say, this process begins by you going to that person who has offended you, and in humility – asking what their intentions were in their actions that caused you offense, and then asking them to forgive you for being offended BY their actions.