How Then Should We Live
Colossians 3:18-4:1
Message #11
In our study of Colossians, we’ve been talking about the life-transforming power of us being identified with Jesus Christ – through faith in him. We’ve been talking about the radical truth that “In Christ,” we have died to the old “self” life, and we have been raised to New Life in him. This leads us to the “Put Off” “Put On” transformation process of us actually living in our new life in Christ.
We put off the old life that we’ve died to and
We put on the new life that we’ve been raised to.
And so, in that process, in our last message, we looked at the “New Life Traits” that we inherited when we received Jesus Christ as our Savior and Lord. And we said now, with the power of the Holy Spirit, we need to “Put On” – “Clothe Ourselves” – “Be Immersed In” the “New Life Traits” that we’ve inherited in Christ. So, today, we get to the question what should our new life in Christ looks like when we begin living in these New Life Traits. In other words, How Then Should We Live?
Today we’re going to look at three pairs of relationships that God is addressing in Colossians Chapter 3. God is a relational God, and so, our New Life Traits are focused on a right vertical relationship with God and right horizontal relationships with others. And here are the three horizontal relationships that God deals with in these verses.
Wives and Husbands
Children and Parents
Employees and Employers
So, first, God addresses wives and husbands, and God starts with the wives.
Wives:
1). Because you’ve put off the old life
2). Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
3). Because you’ve put on the New Life in Christ
Colossians 3, verse 18 says this.
Colossians 3:18 (NLT)
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.
In our marriage series, “God’s Design For Marriage,” you can find the message, “The S Word is For Everyone,” where we go into detail on the two uses of the word “submit.”
But for today, let’s just go over to Ephesians 5 in order to get some critical context. Ephesians Chapters 4-6 is the parallel teaching to Colossians 3, and in Ephesians 5, we have a critical summary verse that kicks off this exact same teaching in Ephesians. Just like Colossians Chapter 3, Ephesians is teaching what it looks like when we are living in our New Life Traits. Here’s the summary verse for this relationship section in Ephesians Chapter 5.
Ephesians 5:21 (NLT)
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
This is the fifth result of being continually filled with the Holy Spirit that starts in Ephesians 5:15. And it is the kick-off verse in Ephesians Chapter 5 for the same three priority relationships that we’re dealing with here in Colossians Chapter 3. And it’s clear these New Life Traits are all an expounding on (what it looks like) when we are submitting to one another.
Let me show you what I mean in Ephesians 5, verses 21-25.
Ephesians 5:21-22,25 (NLT)
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord . . .
…
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church . . .
Ephesians 5 makes it clear that our relational New Life Traits are the outcome of the general call to submit to one another.
It helps to know that the word “submit” has two uses (two meanings) in the Bible. The word “submit” has a greater (broader) meaning, and it has a lesser (more narrow) meaning. When Ephesians 5:21 says we are all called to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, this is submit in the greater (broader) sense. It means: to come under, to support, to hold up one another. THAT is the greater (broader) sense of the word submit.
When the word submit is used for the wife, it is being used in its narrower (or personal) sense, and its definition is referring to order, cooperation, and partnership. It’s actually a military word. It refers to military structure, and it means coming into line or coming into order. And that is the New Life Trait God uses for wives in Colossians 3, verse 18.
Colossians 3:18 (NLT)
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.
The use of the word submit here is referring to leadership order, cooperation, and partnership. If this concept of “submitting to one another” is new to you, go to wordbymail.com or the Word By Mail phone app and search “The S Word is For Everyone.”
So, back in Colossians Chapter 3, moving on to
Husbands:
1). Because you’ve put off the old life
2). Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
3). Because you’ve put on the New Life in Christ
Colossians 3, verse 19 says this.
Colossians 3:19 (NLT)
19 Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.
Again, for context, let’s look back at Ephesians 5.
Ephesians 5:21 & 25 (NLT)
21 . . . submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
. . .
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church . . .
Husband, how do you “submit to your wife”? How do you “come under her” – “support her” – “hold her up”? ALL you have to do is love her… IN the same way and to the same extent as Christ loved the church, which includes never treating her harshly or (as CSB says) never becoming bitter towards her.
Because of his love for us, Jesus Christ never treated us harshly, and he never became bitter toward us. And because Jesus never did with us, we must never become that way with our wives.
Love your wife AS Christ loved the Church
Lead your wife and family AS Christ leads the Church
And you will be living in your New Life traits.
Next,
Children:
1). Because you’ve put off the old life
2). Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
3). Because you’ve put on the New Life in Christ
Then Colossians 3, verse 20 says,
Colossians 3:20 (NLT)
20 Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord.
The word “obey” means: “to heed, comply, and follow the directions of another.”
Children, if you’ve made Jesus your Lord, one of the ways you begin to live in your New Life Traits is to obey your parents – because this pleases the Lord. Your New Life in Christ is displayed in your willingness to obey your parents.
Next is:
Fathers (and, by inference – Mothers):
1). Because you’ve put off the old life
2). Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
3). Because you’ve put on the New Life in Christ
Then Colossians 3, verse 21 says,
Colossians 3:21 (NLT)
21 Fathers (and Mothers), do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.
This word for “aggravate” means “to arouse to wrath or anger, to the point of exasperation.”
The ESV says here, Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
There are two primary ways that we exasperate our children to the point of discouragement. The first one is being over-controlling and over-disciplining. If your children can never do anything right in your eyes, then I guarantee you are exasperating your children to the point of them becoming totally discouraged.
However, the other extreme also causes exasperation and discouragement. If you never, ever guide, direct, and discipline your children, you will also exasperate them, and they will become discouraged. Parents – we must guide, direct, and discipline our children in a balanced and consistent way so they will not become exasperated or discouraged.
And then,
Employees:
1). Because you’ve put off the old life
2). Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
3). Because you’ve put on the New Life in Christ
Then Colossians 3, verses 22-23, say,
Colossians 3:22–23 (NLT)
22 Slaves (employees), obey your earthly masters (employers) in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Serve them sincerely because of your reverent fear of the Lord.
23 Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.
I learned a lot in my time owning and running a decent-sized mortgage business, and we hired mostly Christians and many single moms or moms needing a good job – mostly from our own church. And one of the saddest lessons I learned later was these Christian employees (that we were trying so hard to help) could hear me or my partner walking down the hall, and when they heard our footsteps, they would all scramble to look like they were working (because they often weren’t). That is not living in your New Life Traits as an employee.
And I’ve had the same exact thing happen with employees in the church who are much more interested in making me think they are working than they are interested in actually working for the Lord. This is super sad because living in your New Life Traits means doing your job well, and not just when someone is watching. And it means serving sincerely and willingly as though you were working for the Lord and not for people.
Our New Life Traits deal with practical everyday situations from an eternal perspective, and so, because of your new life in Christ, your boss should say, “Man, that is the best employee I’ve got.” If we’ll grasp this it will really “free us” in the workplace, and we can just fly in there and do our best job for God out of a reverence for God and on behalf of our employer.
As verse 23 says, Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.
And then the end result is:
We give Jesus Christ a good name in our workplace
We can be at peace as we work for the Lord
The Lord will reward us because it’s him we’re working for
Look at Colossians 3, verse 24.
Colossians 3:24 (NLT)
24 Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.
If we are truly working for the Lord, then the Lord will reward us with an inheritance – not man.
There is only One Master above all, and you can get up and go to work for him tomorrow, and that is a great way to get up and go to work.
However, with the blessing of working for the Lord also comes a warning. Verse 25 is still talking about employees on the job.
Colossians 3:25 (NLT)
25 But if you do what is wrong, you will be paid back for the wrong you have done. For God has no favorites.
God will reward us for working well, BUT if we do what is wrong on the job, we will be paid back for the wrong we have done because God has no favorites.
And finally, the “New Life Trait” for all employers, bosses, or overseers in the Church.
Employers:
1). Because you’ve put off the old life
2). Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
3). Because you’ve put on the New Life in Christ
Colossians 4, verse 1 says,
Colossians 4:1 (NLT)
1 Masters (employers), be just and fair to your slaves (employees). Remember that you also have a Master—in heaven.
(Again) Every boss has a master, and for us, our Master is in Heaven. I’ve been a boss (in one way or another) for a long time, and I may not be that good at it. But I know one thing for sure – I may be a boss or employer – but I am NOT in CHARGE because I HAVE a Boss. I HAVE a Master, and he’s watching me very closely, and he will either reward me or hold me responsible for my actions just like he will for the people whom I am called to serve as their overseer or employer.
And so, wrapping up. In these vital relationships, THIS THEN is how we should live, but it’s not work really hard to do these things. Instead, it’s if indeed you have surrendered your life to Jesus Christ, then these are the inherited traits that came with your New Life in Christ. So… with the power of the Holy Spirit, put them on – clothe yourself in them and begin to live in accordance with who you are in Christ.
But always remember, the New Life – comes first! And then issuing forth from that New Life, your New Life Traits begin to show.
My prayer is that we would leave here saying:
Because you’ve put off the old life
Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
THEN with the power of the Holy Spirit, I am going to Put On (clothe myself in) (be immersed in) the New Life that I have inherited in Jesus Christ.
THIS, THEN, IS HOW WE SHOULD LIVE!
We put off the old life that we’ve died to and
We put on the new life that we’ve been raised to.
And so, in that process, in our last message, we looked at the “New Life Traits” that we inherited when we received Jesus Christ as our Savior and Lord. And we said now, with the power of the Holy Spirit, we need to “Put On” – “Clothe Ourselves” – “Be Immersed In” the “New Life Traits” that we’ve inherited in Christ. So, today, we get to the question what should our new life in Christ looks like when we begin living in these New Life Traits. In other words, How Then Should We Live?
Today we’re going to look at three pairs of relationships that God is addressing in Colossians Chapter 3. God is a relational God, and so, our New Life Traits are focused on a right vertical relationship with God and right horizontal relationships with others. And here are the three horizontal relationships that God deals with in these verses.
Wives and Husbands
Children and Parents
Employees and Employers
So, first, God addresses wives and husbands, and God starts with the wives.
Wives:
1). Because you’ve put off the old life
2). Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
3). Because you’ve put on the New Life in Christ
Colossians 3, verse 18 says this.
Colossians 3:18 (NLT)
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.
In our marriage series, “God’s Design For Marriage,” you can find the message, “The S Word is For Everyone,” where we go into detail on the two uses of the word “submit.”
But for today, let’s just go over to Ephesians 5 in order to get some critical context. Ephesians Chapters 4-6 is the parallel teaching to Colossians 3, and in Ephesians 5, we have a critical summary verse that kicks off this exact same teaching in Ephesians. Just like Colossians Chapter 3, Ephesians is teaching what it looks like when we are living in our New Life Traits. Here’s the summary verse for this relationship section in Ephesians Chapter 5.
Ephesians 5:21 (NLT)
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
This is the fifth result of being continually filled with the Holy Spirit that starts in Ephesians 5:15. And it is the kick-off verse in Ephesians Chapter 5 for the same three priority relationships that we’re dealing with here in Colossians Chapter 3. And it’s clear these New Life Traits are all an expounding on (what it looks like) when we are submitting to one another.
Let me show you what I mean in Ephesians 5, verses 21-25.
Ephesians 5:21-22,25 (NLT)
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord . . .
…
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church . . .
Ephesians 5 makes it clear that our relational New Life Traits are the outcome of the general call to submit to one another.
It helps to know that the word “submit” has two uses (two meanings) in the Bible. The word “submit” has a greater (broader) meaning, and it has a lesser (more narrow) meaning. When Ephesians 5:21 says we are all called to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, this is submit in the greater (broader) sense. It means: to come under, to support, to hold up one another. THAT is the greater (broader) sense of the word submit.
When the word submit is used for the wife, it is being used in its narrower (or personal) sense, and its definition is referring to order, cooperation, and partnership. It’s actually a military word. It refers to military structure, and it means coming into line or coming into order. And that is the New Life Trait God uses for wives in Colossians 3, verse 18.
Colossians 3:18 (NLT)
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.
The use of the word submit here is referring to leadership order, cooperation, and partnership. If this concept of “submitting to one another” is new to you, go to wordbymail.com or the Word By Mail phone app and search “The S Word is For Everyone.”
So, back in Colossians Chapter 3, moving on to
Husbands:
1). Because you’ve put off the old life
2). Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
3). Because you’ve put on the New Life in Christ
Colossians 3, verse 19 says this.
Colossians 3:19 (NLT)
19 Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.
Again, for context, let’s look back at Ephesians 5.
Ephesians 5:21 & 25 (NLT)
21 . . . submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
. . .
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church . . .
Husband, how do you “submit to your wife”? How do you “come under her” – “support her” – “hold her up”? ALL you have to do is love her… IN the same way and to the same extent as Christ loved the church, which includes never treating her harshly or (as CSB says) never becoming bitter towards her.
Because of his love for us, Jesus Christ never treated us harshly, and he never became bitter toward us. And because Jesus never did with us, we must never become that way with our wives.
Love your wife AS Christ loved the Church
Lead your wife and family AS Christ leads the Church
And you will be living in your New Life traits.
Next,
Children:
1). Because you’ve put off the old life
2). Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
3). Because you’ve put on the New Life in Christ
Then Colossians 3, verse 20 says,
Colossians 3:20 (NLT)
20 Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord.
The word “obey” means: “to heed, comply, and follow the directions of another.”
Children, if you’ve made Jesus your Lord, one of the ways you begin to live in your New Life Traits is to obey your parents – because this pleases the Lord. Your New Life in Christ is displayed in your willingness to obey your parents.
Next is:
Fathers (and, by inference – Mothers):
1). Because you’ve put off the old life
2). Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
3). Because you’ve put on the New Life in Christ
Then Colossians 3, verse 21 says,
Colossians 3:21 (NLT)
21 Fathers (and Mothers), do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.
This word for “aggravate” means “to arouse to wrath or anger, to the point of exasperation.”
The ESV says here, Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
There are two primary ways that we exasperate our children to the point of discouragement. The first one is being over-controlling and over-disciplining. If your children can never do anything right in your eyes, then I guarantee you are exasperating your children to the point of them becoming totally discouraged.
However, the other extreme also causes exasperation and discouragement. If you never, ever guide, direct, and discipline your children, you will also exasperate them, and they will become discouraged. Parents – we must guide, direct, and discipline our children in a balanced and consistent way so they will not become exasperated or discouraged.
And then,
Employees:
1). Because you’ve put off the old life
2). Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
3). Because you’ve put on the New Life in Christ
Then Colossians 3, verses 22-23, say,
Colossians 3:22–23 (NLT)
22 Slaves (employees), obey your earthly masters (employers) in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Serve them sincerely because of your reverent fear of the Lord.
23 Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.
I learned a lot in my time owning and running a decent-sized mortgage business, and we hired mostly Christians and many single moms or moms needing a good job – mostly from our own church. And one of the saddest lessons I learned later was these Christian employees (that we were trying so hard to help) could hear me or my partner walking down the hall, and when they heard our footsteps, they would all scramble to look like they were working (because they often weren’t). That is not living in your New Life Traits as an employee.
And I’ve had the same exact thing happen with employees in the church who are much more interested in making me think they are working than they are interested in actually working for the Lord. This is super sad because living in your New Life Traits means doing your job well, and not just when someone is watching. And it means serving sincerely and willingly as though you were working for the Lord and not for people.
Our New Life Traits deal with practical everyday situations from an eternal perspective, and so, because of your new life in Christ, your boss should say, “Man, that is the best employee I’ve got.” If we’ll grasp this it will really “free us” in the workplace, and we can just fly in there and do our best job for God out of a reverence for God and on behalf of our employer.
As verse 23 says, Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.
And then the end result is:
We give Jesus Christ a good name in our workplace
We can be at peace as we work for the Lord
The Lord will reward us because it’s him we’re working for
Look at Colossians 3, verse 24.
Colossians 3:24 (NLT)
24 Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.
If we are truly working for the Lord, then the Lord will reward us with an inheritance – not man.
There is only One Master above all, and you can get up and go to work for him tomorrow, and that is a great way to get up and go to work.
However, with the blessing of working for the Lord also comes a warning. Verse 25 is still talking about employees on the job.
Colossians 3:25 (NLT)
25 But if you do what is wrong, you will be paid back for the wrong you have done. For God has no favorites.
God will reward us for working well, BUT if we do what is wrong on the job, we will be paid back for the wrong we have done because God has no favorites.
And finally, the “New Life Trait” for all employers, bosses, or overseers in the Church.
Employers:
1). Because you’ve put off the old life
2). Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
3). Because you’ve put on the New Life in Christ
Colossians 4, verse 1 says,
Colossians 4:1 (NLT)
1 Masters (employers), be just and fair to your slaves (employees). Remember that you also have a Master—in heaven.
(Again) Every boss has a master, and for us, our Master is in Heaven. I’ve been a boss (in one way or another) for a long time, and I may not be that good at it. But I know one thing for sure – I may be a boss or employer – but I am NOT in CHARGE because I HAVE a Boss. I HAVE a Master, and he’s watching me very closely, and he will either reward me or hold me responsible for my actions just like he will for the people whom I am called to serve as their overseer or employer.
And so, wrapping up. In these vital relationships, THIS THEN is how we should live, but it’s not work really hard to do these things. Instead, it’s if indeed you have surrendered your life to Jesus Christ, then these are the inherited traits that came with your New Life in Christ. So… with the power of the Holy Spirit, put them on – clothe yourself in them and begin to live in accordance with who you are in Christ.
But always remember, the New Life – comes first! And then issuing forth from that New Life, your New Life Traits begin to show.
My prayer is that we would leave here saying:
Because you’ve put off the old life
Because you’ve been transformed from the inside/out
THEN with the power of the Holy Spirit, I am going to Put On (clothe myself in) (be immersed in) the New Life that I have inherited in Jesus Christ.
THIS, THEN, IS HOW WE SHOULD LIVE!