Forgiveness Required
Matthew 18:21-35
Message #10
In the Bible, mercy is “compassion in action toward someone who does not deserve it.” In the most sacrificial way possible, God acted in eternal compassion toward us when we did not, could not, and never would deserve his mercy. Mercy is compassion in action toward someone who does not, cannot, and will never deserve it.
And it is God’s free gift of mercy that leads us to freely giving total divine forgiveness. Divine forgiveness is not something we can produce in our own nature. It’s not something we can learn. We can learn to seek God for it, but we don’t get it; we don’t attain it by some type of logic or rationale. The only way we can give out divine forgiveness is by the life of Jesus Christ living in us and through us. The only way we can have this divine forgiveness is by Jesus Christ being it in our lives. It’s receiving the life of Jesus Christ and his power and the Person of the Holy Spirit transforming you and giving you supernatural, divine forgiveness.
We have done so much teaching on Divine Forgiveness (because it has been a big part of my life and testimony). At wordbymail.com, you can search the word “Forgiveness” and get a hold of a bunch of messages. But the one I would suggest to go with this message is called “5 and 5 For Divine Forgiveness.” It’s message number 12 in our series on Joseph, and it would be great to listen to or read along with this message.
How important is it that we live in this Divine Mercy that leads to Divine Forgiveness?
James 2:13 (NLT)
13 There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.
And what about the two verses that follow The Lord’s Prayer.
Matthew 6:14–15 (NLT)
14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.
15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
WHAATTT??? I know you want to know exactly what that means. But for today, can you just take a deep breath and say, “Ohhh, that’s definitely not good.”
And we’ll see today that God calls us to Divine Forgiveness for our own good in order to free us from the torture of unforgiveness.
God has made a way to save you from the self-inflicted prison of unforgiveness by giving you his own divine forgiveness – because hardened unforgiveness brings bondage and destruction into a Christian’s life. But God has given you unfailing mercy to free you from the torture of unforgiveness.
I know some have had very serious and very traumatic events in their lives, and I am not saying that God’s divine forgiveness is easy – or instantaneous. But I am saying, God desires to free you from the bondage and destruction of unforgiveness in your life.
And so, I’d like you (right now) to ask God to show you that person that you are holding unforgiveness toward or that situation where you need to experience God’s divine forgiveness. And as we go on, please allow the Holy Spirit to continue to bring up that person or situation in your mind.
Today, we will see three supernatural steps to experience divine forgiveness in your life, all of which we get from this parable in Matthew Chapter 18.
3 Supernatural Steps to Divine Forgiveness
1) We must Receive God’s Mercy
2) We must Make the Comparison
3) We must Give Out God’s Mercy
There is so much more that we have taught on in this area of Divine Forgiveness, but for today and for this parable, these three supernatural steps are enough.
In Matthew 18, just after the section on how to correctly reconcile and restore a believer, we pick it up in verse 21.
Matthew 18:21 (NLT)
21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
That sounds reasonable – seven times? Good job, Peter. And, once again, Peter gets corrected by Jesus.
Matthew 18:22 (NLT)
22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!
Some translations have seventy-seven times here. But whether seventy-seven or seventy times seven, everyone is in agreement. Jesus is saying we are called to forgive “an unlimited amount of times.” And then Jesus tells us a parable to help us understand just how high a “priority” God puts on us living in his divine forgiveness.
Again, these are the 3-Steps to Divine Forgiveness we see here.
1) We Receive God’s Mercy
2) We Make the Comparison
3) We Give Out God’s Mercy
Matthew 18:23–24 (NLT)
23 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him.
24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars.
First, let’s set the stage correctly. The King is God, and here the servant with the debt is you. And Jesus says (verse 23), the kingdom of heaven can be compared - to THIS situation. That’s what a parable is for. It is to teach a massive truth by comparison, by example, by a parable.
In verse 24, you owe God a debt of millions of dollars. The literal here is ten thousand talents. Ten thousand talents is three hundred and seventy-five tons of silver. At today’s silver price, that is $276,000,000. You owed the King of Heaven an absolutely unimaginable and unrepayable debt. Our sin was a debt that we owed to God, and it was an absolutely unrepayable debt. You could never repay the debt of your sin toward God. And so, Colossians 2:14 says, God canceled the record of your debt by nailing it to the Cross under the BLOOD of Jesus.
Continuing in Matthew 18, verse 25.
Matthew 18:25 (NLT)
25 He (that’s you) couldn’t pay (the debt), so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
This was the normal and customary response at the time. In fact, this was the correct and “righteous” response when a debt this big could not be repaid. In the same way, the wrath of God’s judgment is the correct and righteous response to your debt of sin.
Continuing in verse 26.
Matthew 18:26 (NLT)
26 “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’
Could he really? Could the servant ever pay this “un-repayable debt?” No. Of course, he could never repay it, just as we could never repay God for the debt of our sin.
And so, the Master responds in verse 27.
Matthew 18:27 (NLT)
27 Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
You have heard people talk about “releasing” something, as in, “You’ve got to release that because it’s killing you. You’ve got to let that go.” And that is what God did for you. The Master, the King of Heaven, had pity on you and released you and forgave your debt.
Step #1 – We Must Receive God’s Mercy
So, nothing happens until we say, “God, that’s me!” Like, you don’t know how much your salvation is worth until you know how big of a sinner you are. And for most of us, that’s not a problem, but I have met some people who don’t think so much like that about themselves. We have to recognize our dire need and recognize what God has done for us. We must truly embrace how much mercy and grace we have received from God, resulting in us being forgiven and released from our debt of sin.
It’s so important because if we don’t receive it, how are we ever going to make the comparison or begin to give out what we don’t have, what we haven’t received? This is critical. Receive, embrace.
If you have received God’s free gift of salvation in Jesus Christ, this is what God has done for you. God has completely released you and completely forgiven the unrepayable debt you owed him. You’ve been released from the debt that you owed God that is justly deserving of separation from him for eternity. You have to receive that. I pray that each of you would.
First, we must fully receive that free gift of God’s mercy and forgiveness of our debt of sin.
Then, the parable moves on to you and your dealings with the person who has offended you.
Isn’t this simple to just say, “Okay. How much have I been forgiven? How much am I forgiving?” And should there be a connection? I read a couple of verses at the beginning that said if we will forgive, we will be forgiven. And if we don’t, we won’t. There is a comparison, and it’s pretty radical.
Step #2 – We Must Make The Comparison
Matthew 18:28(a) (NLT)
28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars . . .
So, you went out and found one of your fellow servants, and that person owes you a few thousand dollars compared to the millions you have just been forgiven of. Isn’t this interesting the verse says he went out to a fellow servant? That means he’s looking for him; he’s chasing him down. He’s out to get him. He owes him a few thousand dollars.
This is the comparison. You’ve been freely forgiven of a completely unrepayable debt, and yet you are hunting down someone (at least in your mind or your heart) who owes you a much smaller debt by comparison.
And then, in the second half of verse 28, we see what you do when you find that person who has wronged you.
Matthew 18:28 (NLT)
28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
That doesn’t seem right, does it? Jesus is comparing how much God has forgiven you with how much you have forgiven others.
As freely forgiven Christians, how are we doing at freely forgiving those who have offended us?
We’ve been freely forgiven; how are we doing at freely forgiving? It’s a simple comparison. But you can’t say, “Yeah but…” It’s not in here.
Is there a chance that we are actually holding someone who has wronged us, offended us – in some sort of prison, even if it’s just a prison “in our minds” as we refuse to forgive them for their offense toward us?
Unforgiveness is like wanting to kill someone else and drinking the poison yourself. That is what unforgiveness is. The other person is just going about life, and you are crushed with your unforgiveness, and you’re tormented. You’re in shackles. You’ve put them in a prison in your mind, but you’ve become the prisoner.
So, in our parable, you track down your fellow servant and get them in a choke-hold, and then, they say to you exactly what you just said to God.
Matthew 18:29–30 (NLT)
29 “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded.
30 But his creditor (you) wouldn’t wait. He (you) had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
Your servant asked you for the same mercy that you have received from God. BUT – even though you have been forgiven so much, you show no mercy to the one who owes you much less than you owe God. And then you throw your fellow servant into prison until he (or she) pays for what they have done to you.
Generally, people don’t ask for forgiveness. But God says to show them mercy; he has required it of you.
For us, the most dangerous prison we can put people in who have wronged us is the prison of our own minds. We hold them in the prison of our minds, and we try to make them pay. But what happens is we are the ones who end up in shackles.
And then, I think verse 31 may possibly be the saddest verse in the entire parable because in this verse, I imagine the angels going to God on this whole thing.
Matthew 18:31 (NLT)
31 “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king (God) and told him everything that had happened.
I imagine (can you see this?) the angels in disbelief going to God and saying, “Lord, it cost you so much to forgive that person, and you gave them that forgiveness so freely? But then, they hunted down a person who had offended them, and they choked them out and threw them in prison to make them pay.”
And so, in verses 32-33, we see how God responds to this unforgiving servant.
Matthew 18:32–33 (NLT)
32 Then the king (God) called in the man he had forgiven (you) and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me.
33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’
Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?
The words just as mean in the same way or to the same extent.
Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, [in the same way, and to the same extent, as] I had mercy on you?
Shouldn’t WE be showing mercy to others in the same way that God has shown mercy to US? That’s the whole point, right? We’re being changed into the image of Jesus. But listen, God is not asking you to forgive like he forgives. (That gives you a little hope, right?) God’s not asking you to do this. He’s asking you to let Jesus Christ do this in you. He’s asking you to receive this supernatural divine forgiveness and in the power of the Holy Spirit, give it out. Not because you’ve figured it out, or reasoned it out, or have the logic. But because God has commanded you to, and he has drawn you into a relationship, and he’s given you the power of the Holy Spirt. And now he says, “Use it. Use it to forgive like I’ve forgiven you.”
In the same way, to the same extent, have mercy on others as I have had mercy on you.
We must make this comparison.
And I know sometimes this seems impossible to do, and I know there are situations that make this seem unimaginable.
But what if I told you that showing mercy and giving divine forgiveness in your life is actually for your own good? What if he is calling you to this radical level of divine forgiveness for your own good so that you don’t destroy your own life?
What if God is calling us to allow the life of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit to be his divine forgiveness in you and through you so that you are not tortured for the rest of your life by your unforgiveness?
So, back to the servant (you) who would not forgive in the same way AS he had been forgiven. We read in verse 34,
Matthew 18:34 (NLT)
34 Then the angry king (God) sent the man (you) to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
…sent you to prison to be tortured until you had paid your entire debt. When would you pay your entire $276,000,000, three hundred and seventy-five tons of silver debt to God? Never.
What do you mean to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt? That seems a little much, doesn’t it? Is God saying that will happen to me if I refuse to forgive those who have wronged me?
All we can do is read the next verse (the answer is always in the next verse.)
Matthew 18:35 (NLT)
35 “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”
Seriously Lord? You would allow that to happen to me? Are you saying I will be tortured if I refuse to forgive in the same way as you have forgiven me?
Please hear me. Hardened unforgiveness becomes mental and emotional torture in your life. Hardened unforgiveness (if it’s not dealt with radically) always ends up imprisoning us and torturing us, and unforgiveness can become a ruthless torturer our entire life!
Why would God allow that hardened unforgiveness to torture you? Is it possible that he’s using that as discipline to draw you into a place where you can be freed from that unforgiveness? Because if he overlooks your hardened unforgiveness, and doesn’t allow you to experience anything from it, then won’t you never deal with it? And if you never deal with it, aren’t you in danger of not being forgiven as you have forgiven?
So, isn’t it God’s grace that he says, “Listen, you choose to be unforgiving at that level, I’m going to let you do that”? And God’s hope is that pain drives you to him where you recognize, “Lord, I’ve got to deal with this, I’ve got to release this. I’ve got to forgive as you’ve forgiven me. Otherwise, it’s going to kill me.” Haven’t we said that?
But what God calls us to, God provides for us. God knows we could never accomplish any of this on our own. There’s nothing good in us. And so, if God calls me to something good, he provides it.
But by the life of Jesus taking over our life, the life of Jesus becomes divine forgiveness in us.
This is not something we can work up on our own. This is something we must surrender to the Lord. We have to release the hold, the death grip we have on unforgiveness. You can’t logic this out. You have to be broken, and you’ve got to surrender that. The life of Jesus in you becomes the divine forgiveness God calls you to. Isn’t it amazing?
It’s amazing! God doesn’t call you to clean your life up. He doesn’t call you to be “more this” and “more that.” He calls you to take in more Jesus and be transformed more and more into the image of Jesus and be led more and more by the Holy Spirit, and allow the Holy Spirit to cleanse you of the stuff that’s destroying your life. That’s what God calls you to because you can’t get there from here on your own. You need the life of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit in you – that’s why he gave his life and his power in the Holy Spirit to you.
Our job is to surrender. And as we surrender that unforgiveness, and then we allow the life of Christ and the fruit of the Holy Spirit comes out. And AS we go, it’s not always instantaneous, but we forgive by the power of Christ in us. And it is actually the life of Jesus Christ in us that’s forgiving and the fruit of the Holy Spirit. It miraculously transforms us.
Our part is to walk in it, to put on Christ (Ephesians 4 and Colossians 3). Choose to walk in the new life that Jesus Christ has given you.
Step #3 We Must Give Out God’s Mercy
1) We’ve RECEIVED God’s Mercy
2) We’ve Made the COMPARISON – in order to Crucify our Flesh
3) Now we GIVE OUT God’s Mercy that is Inside of us
We allow the divine nature of God to replace our sin nature. (The sin nature is here, but it is dormant, Paul says in Romans 6. It’s dormant because we serve the Spirit; because we are slaves to righteousness, we allow the divine nature of God to replace our sin nature, including our unforgiveness with his forgiveness.) We allow God’s mercy living inside us to “replace” our unforgiveness, and then… we give that out, we keep giving it out, and keep giving it out! (which, by the way, is what God does for you – he keeps giving out mercy to you.) We give out divine forgiveness flowing from the new life of Jesus Christ living inside of us.
Again, this is not something we do ourselves. It’s something Jesus Christ does – in us!
We’ve got to give up our right to hold on to the cancer of unforgiveness in our hearts. We’ve got to give over to God the things we can’t fix and the things we can’t control. We have to give over to God what we don’t understand. We have to give over to God all of the “whys.” And we’ve got to replace those things with the divine life of Jesus Christ in us and the power of the Holy Spirit in order to give out something we don’t have ourselves. That’s why it’s called a “gift” of the Holy Spirit. He gives it to us, and then we give it out. We walk in it. And sometimes, we have to choose by faith to do it before we feel it. It’s God’s supernatural mercy that leads to divine forgiveness.
I know this is not easy. And I know this is not immediate. But I know how big and mighty, and how merciful our God is! And I know there’s nothing that he can’t do. He can replace that hardened unforgiveness with divine forgiveness. He can.
Would you pray with me right now that the Lord would transform you in this area? Would you trust him to do it? Just trust him. Say, “God, I don’t know how, I don’t know even why, but I trust you.” Would you continue to cry out to him to give you divine forgiveness for that person or that situation in your life?
God wants to free you from the bondage and destruction of your unforgiveness. He wants to renew, restore, and transform you. And by the power of the Holy Spirit, God wants to give you the gift of divine forgiveness.
And it is God’s free gift of mercy that leads us to freely giving total divine forgiveness. Divine forgiveness is not something we can produce in our own nature. It’s not something we can learn. We can learn to seek God for it, but we don’t get it; we don’t attain it by some type of logic or rationale. The only way we can give out divine forgiveness is by the life of Jesus Christ living in us and through us. The only way we can have this divine forgiveness is by Jesus Christ being it in our lives. It’s receiving the life of Jesus Christ and his power and the Person of the Holy Spirit transforming you and giving you supernatural, divine forgiveness.
We have done so much teaching on Divine Forgiveness (because it has been a big part of my life and testimony). At wordbymail.com, you can search the word “Forgiveness” and get a hold of a bunch of messages. But the one I would suggest to go with this message is called “5 and 5 For Divine Forgiveness.” It’s message number 12 in our series on Joseph, and it would be great to listen to or read along with this message.
How important is it that we live in this Divine Mercy that leads to Divine Forgiveness?
James 2:13 (NLT)
13 There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.
And what about the two verses that follow The Lord’s Prayer.
Matthew 6:14–15 (NLT)
14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.
15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
WHAATTT??? I know you want to know exactly what that means. But for today, can you just take a deep breath and say, “Ohhh, that’s definitely not good.”
And we’ll see today that God calls us to Divine Forgiveness for our own good in order to free us from the torture of unforgiveness.
God has made a way to save you from the self-inflicted prison of unforgiveness by giving you his own divine forgiveness – because hardened unforgiveness brings bondage and destruction into a Christian’s life. But God has given you unfailing mercy to free you from the torture of unforgiveness.
I know some have had very serious and very traumatic events in their lives, and I am not saying that God’s divine forgiveness is easy – or instantaneous. But I am saying, God desires to free you from the bondage and destruction of unforgiveness in your life.
And so, I’d like you (right now) to ask God to show you that person that you are holding unforgiveness toward or that situation where you need to experience God’s divine forgiveness. And as we go on, please allow the Holy Spirit to continue to bring up that person or situation in your mind.
Today, we will see three supernatural steps to experience divine forgiveness in your life, all of which we get from this parable in Matthew Chapter 18.
3 Supernatural Steps to Divine Forgiveness
1) We must Receive God’s Mercy
2) We must Make the Comparison
3) We must Give Out God’s Mercy
There is so much more that we have taught on in this area of Divine Forgiveness, but for today and for this parable, these three supernatural steps are enough.
In Matthew 18, just after the section on how to correctly reconcile and restore a believer, we pick it up in verse 21.
Matthew 18:21 (NLT)
21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
That sounds reasonable – seven times? Good job, Peter. And, once again, Peter gets corrected by Jesus.
Matthew 18:22 (NLT)
22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!
Some translations have seventy-seven times here. But whether seventy-seven or seventy times seven, everyone is in agreement. Jesus is saying we are called to forgive “an unlimited amount of times.” And then Jesus tells us a parable to help us understand just how high a “priority” God puts on us living in his divine forgiveness.
Again, these are the 3-Steps to Divine Forgiveness we see here.
1) We Receive God’s Mercy
2) We Make the Comparison
3) We Give Out God’s Mercy
Matthew 18:23–24 (NLT)
23 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him.
24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars.
First, let’s set the stage correctly. The King is God, and here the servant with the debt is you. And Jesus says (verse 23), the kingdom of heaven can be compared - to THIS situation. That’s what a parable is for. It is to teach a massive truth by comparison, by example, by a parable.
In verse 24, you owe God a debt of millions of dollars. The literal here is ten thousand talents. Ten thousand talents is three hundred and seventy-five tons of silver. At today’s silver price, that is $276,000,000. You owed the King of Heaven an absolutely unimaginable and unrepayable debt. Our sin was a debt that we owed to God, and it was an absolutely unrepayable debt. You could never repay the debt of your sin toward God. And so, Colossians 2:14 says, God canceled the record of your debt by nailing it to the Cross under the BLOOD of Jesus.
Continuing in Matthew 18, verse 25.
Matthew 18:25 (NLT)
25 He (that’s you) couldn’t pay (the debt), so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
This was the normal and customary response at the time. In fact, this was the correct and “righteous” response when a debt this big could not be repaid. In the same way, the wrath of God’s judgment is the correct and righteous response to your debt of sin.
Continuing in verse 26.
Matthew 18:26 (NLT)
26 “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’
Could he really? Could the servant ever pay this “un-repayable debt?” No. Of course, he could never repay it, just as we could never repay God for the debt of our sin.
And so, the Master responds in verse 27.
Matthew 18:27 (NLT)
27 Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
You have heard people talk about “releasing” something, as in, “You’ve got to release that because it’s killing you. You’ve got to let that go.” And that is what God did for you. The Master, the King of Heaven, had pity on you and released you and forgave your debt.
Step #1 – We Must Receive God’s Mercy
So, nothing happens until we say, “God, that’s me!” Like, you don’t know how much your salvation is worth until you know how big of a sinner you are. And for most of us, that’s not a problem, but I have met some people who don’t think so much like that about themselves. We have to recognize our dire need and recognize what God has done for us. We must truly embrace how much mercy and grace we have received from God, resulting in us being forgiven and released from our debt of sin.
It’s so important because if we don’t receive it, how are we ever going to make the comparison or begin to give out what we don’t have, what we haven’t received? This is critical. Receive, embrace.
If you have received God’s free gift of salvation in Jesus Christ, this is what God has done for you. God has completely released you and completely forgiven the unrepayable debt you owed him. You’ve been released from the debt that you owed God that is justly deserving of separation from him for eternity. You have to receive that. I pray that each of you would.
First, we must fully receive that free gift of God’s mercy and forgiveness of our debt of sin.
Then, the parable moves on to you and your dealings with the person who has offended you.
Isn’t this simple to just say, “Okay. How much have I been forgiven? How much am I forgiving?” And should there be a connection? I read a couple of verses at the beginning that said if we will forgive, we will be forgiven. And if we don’t, we won’t. There is a comparison, and it’s pretty radical.
Step #2 – We Must Make The Comparison
Matthew 18:28(a) (NLT)
28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars . . .
So, you went out and found one of your fellow servants, and that person owes you a few thousand dollars compared to the millions you have just been forgiven of. Isn’t this interesting the verse says he went out to a fellow servant? That means he’s looking for him; he’s chasing him down. He’s out to get him. He owes him a few thousand dollars.
This is the comparison. You’ve been freely forgiven of a completely unrepayable debt, and yet you are hunting down someone (at least in your mind or your heart) who owes you a much smaller debt by comparison.
And then, in the second half of verse 28, we see what you do when you find that person who has wronged you.
Matthew 18:28 (NLT)
28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
That doesn’t seem right, does it? Jesus is comparing how much God has forgiven you with how much you have forgiven others.
As freely forgiven Christians, how are we doing at freely forgiving those who have offended us?
We’ve been freely forgiven; how are we doing at freely forgiving? It’s a simple comparison. But you can’t say, “Yeah but…” It’s not in here.
Is there a chance that we are actually holding someone who has wronged us, offended us – in some sort of prison, even if it’s just a prison “in our minds” as we refuse to forgive them for their offense toward us?
Unforgiveness is like wanting to kill someone else and drinking the poison yourself. That is what unforgiveness is. The other person is just going about life, and you are crushed with your unforgiveness, and you’re tormented. You’re in shackles. You’ve put them in a prison in your mind, but you’ve become the prisoner.
So, in our parable, you track down your fellow servant and get them in a choke-hold, and then, they say to you exactly what you just said to God.
Matthew 18:29–30 (NLT)
29 “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded.
30 But his creditor (you) wouldn’t wait. He (you) had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
Your servant asked you for the same mercy that you have received from God. BUT – even though you have been forgiven so much, you show no mercy to the one who owes you much less than you owe God. And then you throw your fellow servant into prison until he (or she) pays for what they have done to you.
Generally, people don’t ask for forgiveness. But God says to show them mercy; he has required it of you.
For us, the most dangerous prison we can put people in who have wronged us is the prison of our own minds. We hold them in the prison of our minds, and we try to make them pay. But what happens is we are the ones who end up in shackles.
And then, I think verse 31 may possibly be the saddest verse in the entire parable because in this verse, I imagine the angels going to God on this whole thing.
Matthew 18:31 (NLT)
31 “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king (God) and told him everything that had happened.
I imagine (can you see this?) the angels in disbelief going to God and saying, “Lord, it cost you so much to forgive that person, and you gave them that forgiveness so freely? But then, they hunted down a person who had offended them, and they choked them out and threw them in prison to make them pay.”
And so, in verses 32-33, we see how God responds to this unforgiving servant.
Matthew 18:32–33 (NLT)
32 Then the king (God) called in the man he had forgiven (you) and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me.
33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’
Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?
The words just as mean in the same way or to the same extent.
Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, [in the same way, and to the same extent, as] I had mercy on you?
Shouldn’t WE be showing mercy to others in the same way that God has shown mercy to US? That’s the whole point, right? We’re being changed into the image of Jesus. But listen, God is not asking you to forgive like he forgives. (That gives you a little hope, right?) God’s not asking you to do this. He’s asking you to let Jesus Christ do this in you. He’s asking you to receive this supernatural divine forgiveness and in the power of the Holy Spirit, give it out. Not because you’ve figured it out, or reasoned it out, or have the logic. But because God has commanded you to, and he has drawn you into a relationship, and he’s given you the power of the Holy Spirt. And now he says, “Use it. Use it to forgive like I’ve forgiven you.”
In the same way, to the same extent, have mercy on others as I have had mercy on you.
We must make this comparison.
And I know sometimes this seems impossible to do, and I know there are situations that make this seem unimaginable.
But what if I told you that showing mercy and giving divine forgiveness in your life is actually for your own good? What if he is calling you to this radical level of divine forgiveness for your own good so that you don’t destroy your own life?
What if God is calling us to allow the life of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit to be his divine forgiveness in you and through you so that you are not tortured for the rest of your life by your unforgiveness?
So, back to the servant (you) who would not forgive in the same way AS he had been forgiven. We read in verse 34,
Matthew 18:34 (NLT)
34 Then the angry king (God) sent the man (you) to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
…sent you to prison to be tortured until you had paid your entire debt. When would you pay your entire $276,000,000, three hundred and seventy-five tons of silver debt to God? Never.
What do you mean to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt? That seems a little much, doesn’t it? Is God saying that will happen to me if I refuse to forgive those who have wronged me?
All we can do is read the next verse (the answer is always in the next verse.)
Matthew 18:35 (NLT)
35 “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”
Seriously Lord? You would allow that to happen to me? Are you saying I will be tortured if I refuse to forgive in the same way as you have forgiven me?
Please hear me. Hardened unforgiveness becomes mental and emotional torture in your life. Hardened unforgiveness (if it’s not dealt with radically) always ends up imprisoning us and torturing us, and unforgiveness can become a ruthless torturer our entire life!
Why would God allow that hardened unforgiveness to torture you? Is it possible that he’s using that as discipline to draw you into a place where you can be freed from that unforgiveness? Because if he overlooks your hardened unforgiveness, and doesn’t allow you to experience anything from it, then won’t you never deal with it? And if you never deal with it, aren’t you in danger of not being forgiven as you have forgiven?
So, isn’t it God’s grace that he says, “Listen, you choose to be unforgiving at that level, I’m going to let you do that”? And God’s hope is that pain drives you to him where you recognize, “Lord, I’ve got to deal with this, I’ve got to release this. I’ve got to forgive as you’ve forgiven me. Otherwise, it’s going to kill me.” Haven’t we said that?
But what God calls us to, God provides for us. God knows we could never accomplish any of this on our own. There’s nothing good in us. And so, if God calls me to something good, he provides it.
But by the life of Jesus taking over our life, the life of Jesus becomes divine forgiveness in us.
This is not something we can work up on our own. This is something we must surrender to the Lord. We have to release the hold, the death grip we have on unforgiveness. You can’t logic this out. You have to be broken, and you’ve got to surrender that. The life of Jesus in you becomes the divine forgiveness God calls you to. Isn’t it amazing?
It’s amazing! God doesn’t call you to clean your life up. He doesn’t call you to be “more this” and “more that.” He calls you to take in more Jesus and be transformed more and more into the image of Jesus and be led more and more by the Holy Spirit, and allow the Holy Spirit to cleanse you of the stuff that’s destroying your life. That’s what God calls you to because you can’t get there from here on your own. You need the life of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit in you – that’s why he gave his life and his power in the Holy Spirit to you.
Our job is to surrender. And as we surrender that unforgiveness, and then we allow the life of Christ and the fruit of the Holy Spirit comes out. And AS we go, it’s not always instantaneous, but we forgive by the power of Christ in us. And it is actually the life of Jesus Christ in us that’s forgiving and the fruit of the Holy Spirit. It miraculously transforms us.
Our part is to walk in it, to put on Christ (Ephesians 4 and Colossians 3). Choose to walk in the new life that Jesus Christ has given you.
Step #3 We Must Give Out God’s Mercy
1) We’ve RECEIVED God’s Mercy
2) We’ve Made the COMPARISON – in order to Crucify our Flesh
3) Now we GIVE OUT God’s Mercy that is Inside of us
We allow the divine nature of God to replace our sin nature. (The sin nature is here, but it is dormant, Paul says in Romans 6. It’s dormant because we serve the Spirit; because we are slaves to righteousness, we allow the divine nature of God to replace our sin nature, including our unforgiveness with his forgiveness.) We allow God’s mercy living inside us to “replace” our unforgiveness, and then… we give that out, we keep giving it out, and keep giving it out! (which, by the way, is what God does for you – he keeps giving out mercy to you.) We give out divine forgiveness flowing from the new life of Jesus Christ living inside of us.
Again, this is not something we do ourselves. It’s something Jesus Christ does – in us!
We’ve got to give up our right to hold on to the cancer of unforgiveness in our hearts. We’ve got to give over to God the things we can’t fix and the things we can’t control. We have to give over to God what we don’t understand. We have to give over to God all of the “whys.” And we’ve got to replace those things with the divine life of Jesus Christ in us and the power of the Holy Spirit in order to give out something we don’t have ourselves. That’s why it’s called a “gift” of the Holy Spirit. He gives it to us, and then we give it out. We walk in it. And sometimes, we have to choose by faith to do it before we feel it. It’s God’s supernatural mercy that leads to divine forgiveness.
I know this is not easy. And I know this is not immediate. But I know how big and mighty, and how merciful our God is! And I know there’s nothing that he can’t do. He can replace that hardened unforgiveness with divine forgiveness. He can.
Would you pray with me right now that the Lord would transform you in this area? Would you trust him to do it? Just trust him. Say, “God, I don’t know how, I don’t know even why, but I trust you.” Would you continue to cry out to him to give you divine forgiveness for that person or that situation in your life?
God wants to free you from the bondage and destruction of your unforgiveness. He wants to renew, restore, and transform you. And by the power of the Holy Spirit, God wants to give you the gift of divine forgiveness.