Relational Sin Part 1: The Works of the Flesh
Galatians 5:16-26
We are going to spend several messages examining relational sin because it can do tremendous damage in the church.
This week, I had a conversation with someone about that damage, and I became frustrated. In my frustration-and in the flesh-I said, "You should tell the people causing this trouble to just leave the church."
That was the wrong response.
I apologized to the person who heard it, and I also apologize to the church for responding that way. That is not the right response for every person who commits relational sin, because every one of us has failed relationally. These sins arise from the flesh, and every believer still battles the flesh.
The enemy often capitalizes on these failures. He pours fuel on the fire until the unity, communion, and fellowship of the church are seriously damaged. But before we focus on what the enemy does with relational sin, we must be honest about where relational sin begins.
It begins in our own fallen nature.
What Relational Sin Is
For this series, I am using the phrase relational sins to describe sins that damage people, distort the truth, and tear at the unity of Christ's body.
Relational sins are attitudes, words, and actions that violate Christlike love, distort the truth, wound others, recruit allies, and damage the unity of Christ's body.
That definition explains what relational sin does. But we also need to be clear about what relational sin is not.
- Relational pain is not automatically relational sin.
- Being hurt is not a sin.
- Disagreement handled in love is not division.
- Asking for real help from people committed to helping is not gossip.
- Reporting abuse, manipulation, dishonesty, or misconduct to people who can actually help resolve it is not slander.
- Establishing necessary boundaries is not unforgiveness.
- Maintaining unity does not require uniformity, silence, or pretending nothing is wrong.
Relational sin is about how we handle these difficult situations. It is about our own attitudes, words, and actions while we address pain, conflict, disagreement, misconduct, or broken trust.
We must apply this definition to ourselves first. Before we become preoccupied with someone else's attitudes, words, and actions, we need to let the Holy Spirit examine our own.
I am speaking to every one of us, because all of us have missed the mark in this area.
The Diagnosis And The Answer
Galatians 5 is a powerful place to begin because it gives us both the diagnosis of the problem and God's answer to the problem.
This is the battle: the flesh against the Holy Spirit's work within us.
The flesh is not merely the physical body. It is our fallen, self-centered nature-the part of us that wants its own way, protects itself, defends itself, and reacts without surrendering to God.
The presence of that struggle does not mean the Holy Spirit is absent. It means we must decide which influence will lead. The Holy Spirit directs us into the life God desires, but He does not force us to follow. We must yield, surrender, and respond.
The Relational Works Of The Flesh
When the flesh is allowed to lead, the results become clear. Galatians 5 identifies many expressions of the flesh, including a cluster of sins that directly affect relationships.
These are some of the relational sins we are addressing, so we need to define them carefully.
Hostility is a settled attitude of opposition toward another person that keeps the heart resisting, criticizing, and attacking.
Quarreling is turning disagreement into conflict by insisting on winning, proving a point, or keeping strife alive.
Jealousy is the resentful fear that another person's position, attention, relationship, or blessing threatens something we want.
Outbursts of anger are eruptions of the flesh that use emotion, volume, words, or actions to overpower another person.
Selfish ambition is the drive to advance ourselves, defend ourselves, or promote our own agenda even when it damages others or divides the body.
Dissension is spreading disagreement in a way that stirs unrest, weakens trust, and pulls people away from unity.
Division separates people into sides, factions, or competing loyalties that work against the unity of Christ's body.
Envy resents the blessing, recognition, success, or relationships another person has received.
These are all relational sins, but they are not the only relational sins addressed in Scripture.
Gossip And Slander Spread The Damage
Second Corinthians 12 includes another list of relational problems that can operate within a church.
Gossip and slander belong in this discussion because they are works of the flesh, and they often become the delivery system for other works of the flesh.
Gossip is sharing damaging, private, or inflammatory information with someone who is not part of the problem or part of the biblical solution.
Slander is speaking damaging accusations, distorted truth, exaggerations, or unverified claims in a way that injures another person's character or reputation.
Gossip spreads the story without a biblical purpose or concern for the whole truth.
Slander shapes the story to damage the person.
Gossip and slander frequently contain exaggeration, distorted truth, missing context, assumed motives, or outright falsehood. They can seriously damage a person's character and reputation.
They work much like the game of telephone. One person repeats what was felt, heard, or assumed-often with some embellishment. The next person adds more. Then another person repeats the account as though it were verified fact.
Before long, very little truth remains, but the damage continues to spread. By then, the enemy has the fire moving exactly where he wants it.
I have experienced that personally more times than I care to remember. Gossip, slander, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, anger, ambition, dissension, division, and envy all dismantle unity, fellowship, and communion in the church.
God wants us to understand that these sins are serious.
A Serious Spiritual Warning
Galatians 5 does more than identify sinful behavior. It gives a severe warning about a life persistently governed by the works of the flesh.
We must understand this warning carefully.
It is not saying that anyone who has ever committed one of these sins is automatically unsaved. If that were the meaning, none of us would ever have hope.
The warning concerns a person whose life is characterized by these works of the flesh-someone who continues in them, justifies them, defends them, spreads them, and refuses the correcting work of the Holy Spirit.
Continually living that way is not only relationally damaging. It is spiritually dangerous.
A life settled into the ongoing works of the flesh, without conviction, repentance, surrender, or the transforming work of the Spirit, does not reflect the life of someone being governed by God's kingdom.
So the primary question is not whether we have ever sinned this way. We all have.
The question is whether we are continuing in that sin without conviction, repentance, and surrender to the Holy Spirit.
There is a great difference between a believer who is convicted by relational sin and a person who is comfortable living in relational sin.
God Exposes Sin To Deliver Us
The warning is serious, but God's Word does not leave us exposed, convicted, and hopeless. It moves directly to God's answer.
God's answer to the works of the flesh is not self-improvement.
It is not religious behavior modification.
It is not learning to hide our sin more effectively.
God's answer is the life-transforming work of the Holy Spirit.
God does not expose relational sin in order to shame us. He exposes it to deliver us.
He puts His finger on these sins not because He wants to crush us, but because He wants to free us from them.
The Spirit Produces A Different Kind Of Life
After describing the works of the flesh, Galatians 5 turns to the character the Holy Spirit produces in a surrendered believer.
Notice the contrast. The flesh produces works. The Holy Spirit produces fruit.
The works of the flesh come out of us naturally. The fruit of the Spirit comes out of us supernaturally.
And notice how relational that fruit is.
It changes the way we see people.
It changes the way we speak to people.
It changes the way we respond to people.
It changes the way we handle offense, conflict, correction, and pain.
The Spirit replaces hostility with love, quarreling with peace, anger with patience, selfish ambition with goodness, and a loose tongue with self-control.
This is connected to abiding in Christ. We do not manufacture spiritual fruit through willpower. The life and character of Jesus grow in us as we remain in communion with Him and yield to the Holy Spirit.
Bring The Flesh Back To The Cross
What do we do when the flesh rises within us?
We do not excuse it.
We do not defend it.
We do not rename it.
We bring it to the cross.
The flesh does not need a better excuse. It must be crucified.
My relational sins do not have the right to rule me because I belong to Jesus Christ.
My flesh does not have the right to rule me because Jesus has given me a new life and a new Master.
Every time the flesh rises, my responsibility is to bring it back to the cross, surrender it again, and choose the Spirit's leadership instead.
Follow The Spirit In Every Relationship
The closing verses of Galatians 5 bring the issue directly into everyday life.
We must allow the Holy Spirit to lead us in our relationships, conversations, reactions, texts, phone calls, assumptions, and responses when we are hurt.
Following His leadership means stopping long enough for Him to check our flesh before our flesh takes over our attitude, mouth, and actions.
We need to be quick to surrender our feelings.
We need to be slow to speak our minds.
We need to be determined to control our actions.
In every circumstance where relational sin is a possibility, we must quickly bring the flesh to the cross and yield to the Holy Spirit.
In the coming messages, we will talk about correction, restoration, reconciliation, and protecting the unity of the body. But for today, we need to end here.
Relational sin begins in our flesh.
The enemy exploits it.
The body is damaged by it.
The warning is serious.
But God's answer is powerful.
Begin With Your Own Heart
Before I address relational sin around me, I must bring my own flesh to the cross.
My anger.
My jealousy.
My defensiveness.
My gossip.
My slander.
My need to win.
My need to be right.
My need to gather people to my side.
All of it must be surrendered at the cross of Jesus Christ.
The first place relational sin must be addressed is in my own life.
A Final Prayer
Lord Jesus, before we focus on relational sin in others, help us honestly face the flesh within us.
Reveal our hostility, jealousy, defensiveness, anger, envy, gossip, slander, selfish ambition, and desire to gather people to our side.
Forgive us for the ways our attitudes, words, and actions have wounded people, distorted the truth, and damaged the unity of Your body.
Thank You that You do not expose our sin to shame us, but to deliver us. Help us stop excusing, defending, and renaming the flesh. Teach us to bring it to Your cross and surrender it there.
Holy Spirit, lead our relationships, conversations, reactions, texts, phone calls, assumptions, and responses when we are hurt. Stop us before the flesh takes control of our attitudes, mouths, or actions.
Form the character of Jesus in us. Replace hostility with love, quarreling with peace, anger with patience, selfish ambition with goodness, and careless speech with self-control.
Make us quick to surrender, slow to speak, and determined to respond in a way that honors Christ and protects the unity of His body.
Begin this work in us, Lord. Address relational sin first in our own hearts.
Amen.