Prerequisites for God's Design for Marriage
Session 1 (Audio Only)
Welcome to "God's Design for Marriage." Congratulations on making the commitment to this 12-week course.
COMMITMENT
We need to begin with some basic understanding and some initial commitments.
I Promise you - if you will keep your COMMITMENT
to BE here
to RECEIVE God's Word
to DO your homework . . .
Then God will give you the tools and the power to TRANSFORM your marriage.
We are going to go through twelve weeks of critical truths right out of God's Word, and I assure you we will see how God designed our marriages to work. However, unless you commit to be here - to receive God's Word - and to do your homework, you probably will not see any improvement in your marriage at all!
HOMEWORK
The homework portion is actually the most important part of this series. There is something special, even supernatural, about doing the homework with your spouse. It is unquestionably the most crucial part of the twelve weeks.
The homework is not just fill in the blanks homework that you can breeze through. The homework is designed to create a meaningful time of interaction with your spouse, focused on God's Word.
You may not be a “homework type” person, and you may even feel a bit awkward going through the homework with your spouse, but you have got to do it - it really is CRITICALLY important.
In your homework - I ask you to:
1) INTERACT with each other
2) WRITE down your thoughts from that interaction
3) JOURNAL a little bit on your own
For many of us - this might be the first time we have ever done anything like this with our spouse; if so, I promise it will be significantly meaningful.
You'll have two or three nights of homework a week, and that's a small price to pay for God to transform your marriage! Plus - it could start the marriage-transforming habit of devotional time with your spouse.
So - will you COMMIT to DO your homework? ________
PASTOR DAVE'S STORY
When I was in the 8th grade, I fell in love with my wife (as much as an 8th grader can “fall in love”), and we've been married 39 years. We went through high school together, and we went through some very difficult times together.
After high school, I left home for the streets of Hollywood and the music industry - and she wouldn't have any part of that.
But on April 29, 1979, God not only saved me from the streets of Hollywood but from an eternity separated from him. And three days later, he saved my love from the 8th grade.
Then, when we were 20 years old, that rocky high school romance turned into a God-ordained marriage. (1980)
God has blessed us with the greatest children in the world, two daughters and a son who are all married, and 10 incredible grandchildren!
Our daughters and their families live very close to us and are involved in our church in Nuevo. They are both fully committed to being wives and mothers, like the role model they had growing up.
Our son and his family serve God and our country in the U.S. Navy. David is a Chief Petty Officer FMF Corpsman with 2 tours with the Marines and 1 tour with the SEALS, based near us in San Diego, CA.
All three of my kids are married, and all three have had struggles in their young marriages. And Pam and I have had plenty of struggles in our 46+ years together (39 married), including times when we were in the ministry.
So, all that to say - we've been there. We’ve lived through the good and the bad, and we've seen God do miraculous things in our marriage and family.
So, as I share God's design for marriage with you, I'll try to illustrate it a bit with over 39 years of real-life marriage testimony.
There are people in marriages at every level reading these words. There are Pre-Marriages - New Marriages - Old Marriages. Marriages on the brink of divorce and those who have already been divorced. In fact, we know that the divorce rate inside the church is basically the same as outside the church - and it's for the exact same reason!!
Marriages fail both outside the church, and inside the church, because we are not following God's design for marriage!!
God designed marriage. He's the one who created it, and he designed it to work his way. And so, whether we are outside the church and not following God's design, or inside the church and not following God's design . . . Either way, our marriage is in the same rocky boat, because we're not following the design of the one who created marriage.
THIS IS NOT A SELF-HELP MARRIAGE IMPROVEMENT SERIES
The next thing we have got to understand before diving in is: This is not a "self-help" marriage improvement course.
Our purpose here is not for you to improve your marriage your way. It's us doing what we think is best for us that's gotten us into the mess we're in. The very worst thing you can do for your marriage is for you to continue to do what you think is best - for you.
We have got to put all our own ideas and all of our own opinions aside, and we've got to turn to God's design manual for the answers. And if we'll be open to his plan - and if we'll begin to put his plan to work in our marriages -- great things can happen!
We must put all our own ideas and opinions aside, and seek to know and receive God’s design for marriage only.
INTERACTION
Interaction is critical. You will be presented with a question like: "Will you commit to seek God's will and God's design ALONE for your marriage?" Then...
When you answer I want you to look at your spouse (if they are here) - every time I ask you to make a commitment, I want you to make that commitment looking right into their eyes.
I want you to re-state the question as a commitment to them. In other words, I don't want you to say "Yeah, babe, sure." I want you to look into your spouse's eyes and re-state the question as a commitment.
For example:
Question: Will you commit to seek God's will and God's design alone for your marriage?
Answer (looking at your spouse): I will commit to seek God's will and God's design alone for our marriage.
I understand that right now you may not be sure that you are willing to commit to God's will and God's design for your marriage. If you're not sure; please, be honest with your spouse. I don't want you to start this transformation process by lying to your spouse.
Please make whatever honest commitment you can currently make to your spouse. But please, speak the truth in love.
If you are hurting and unsure right now, try saying, “I’m hurting right now, but I will see this course through.” Be honest, but speak the truth in love.
Okay, now I want you to turn to your spouse and ANSWER this question with a commitment statement. Remember to re-state the question as a commitment.
Will you commit to seek God’s will and God’s design alone for your marriage?
Did you make this commitment to your spouse? _____
Now... let's get to some Bible study.
This may be the most essential message of the series. Because if you don’t get tonight, you can’t get God’s design for your marriage.
The problem will never be that God doesn’t have the power, the ability, or the desire, to strengthen, heal, and restore our marriages. The problem will always be that our SELF-WILL stands in the way.
God will not force us to have a marriage as he designed it. He will always wait until we are willing to crucify our self-will and surrender to his will and his design.
So, here is our first M.I.P. (Most Important Point):
The refusal to crucify self-will is at the root of every marriage problem!
Let's start in Isaiah 14:12-15, in a section known as the FALL of Lucifer. Most scholars believe this portion of Isaiah is poetically describing the fall of Satan from Heaven.
We call this text: The 5 “I Wills” of Satan.
Isaiah 14:12–15 (NLT)
12 “How you are fallen from heaven, O shining star (NKJV says Lucifer), son of the morning! You have been thrown down to the earth, you who destroyed the nations of the world.
13 For you said to yourself, ‘I will ascend to heaven and (I will) set my throne above God’s stars. I will preside on the mountain of the gods far away in the north.
14 I will climb to the highest heavens and (I will) be like the Most High.’
15 Instead, you will be brought down to the place of the dead, down to its lowest depths.
Lucifer said, “I will, I will, I will, I will, I will.” And God said - NO you WON'T, and he threw him out of heaven.
What we really need to see is Lucifer’s determination to choose his will over God’s will. That is the sin of PRIDE in its ugliest form; demanding our will over God's will. And that is what got Satan thrown out of heaven.
Satan wanted to be like God. He wanted to be top-dog.
“I want my way over God’s way” is what got Satan thrown out of heaven... and that same tendency is at the root of our own sin nature.
Now let's look at what role SELF-WILL played in the fall of man in Genesis Chapter 3.
As you read Genesis 3:1-6, watch carefully for two things:
1) See how Satan (the serpent) seduces Adam and Eve into acting against God’s will.
2) See Eve’s logical reasons for choosing her will over God’s will.
Genesis 3:1–6 (NLT)
1 The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”
(A conversation with Satan often starts with Satan questioning God)
2 “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied.
3 “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’ ”
4 “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman.
(As you continue your conversation with Satan, he will always deny
God’s Word)
5 “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”
(Finally, Satan will always convince you to replace God’s truth with a lie)
6 The woman was convinced. (Satan convinces Eve to choose her own will) She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. (3 logical reasons to choose her will over God’s) (also the 3 classic temptations Satan uses; lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, pride of life) So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too.
It was self-will that got Lucifer thrown out of heaven. Then Satan seduced Adam and Eve into choosing their self-will over God's will.
They were convinced that their self-will was better for them than God's will. At its very root, the sin that caused the fall of Man was choosing self-will over God's will.
And so, how about us?
Choosing self-will over God's will always causes some level of a "fall," or at least a "stumble" in our marriage.
1) Has self-will ever caused problems in your marriage? _____
2) Do you see that self-will is at the very root of sin? _____
Session 1 M.I.P.
The refusal to crucify self-will is at the root of every marriage problem!
Satan convinced Adam and Eve to choose their own will over God’s will, rebelling against God in sin and causing the fall of man. Today, every man and woman suffers from sharing the resulting sin nature and making similar sinful choices.
However, there are two words that every Christian must embrace . . . BUT GOD!
The self-will that is damaging our marriage is at the very root of our sin nature . . .
BUT GOD has provided a way – the only way;
For our sin to be WASHED AWAY
For us to be BORN-AGAIN with a new nature
For us to live a NEW LIFE - as a new creation
And that one and only way is through a real, personal relationship with Jesus Christ. God has provided Jesus Christ as the ONLY answer to the sin of self-will.
Jesus Christ took upon Himself your sin, including your self-will, and he paid the full price required to free you from sin’s penalty and to give you the power to overcome sin.
If you will put your full faith and trust in Jesus Christ, as your Savior and Lord;
He will WASH AWAY your sin.
He will give you RIGHT STANDING before God.
He will give you the POWER to crucify your self-will every day!
Through your faith in Jesus Christ, he will give you his righteousness before God. Through your complete surrender to him, he will give you the power, by the Holy Spirit, to crucify your self-will. Which, in turn, will transform your marriage.
Through faith in, and surrender to, Jesus Christ, you can be saved and transformed into his image, which is exactly what your marriage needs.
Our self-will must be crucified, and we must be transformed, for God’s design to ever become a reality in our marriage.
And that truth is what gives God’s design for marriage the supernatural power to actually transform you and your marriage.
We’re not talking about relational psychology here. We’re talking about supernatural transformation. We're talking about changes that come from a new birth and a new life in Jesus Christ. Let’s look at Titus 3:3.
Titus 3:3 (NLT)
3 Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other.
We are utterly and completely lost without Jesus Christ. If this statement causes you to ‘recoil’ a bit, take some time to really dig into these scriptures: Romans 3:10-12, Romans 3:22-23, Ephesians 2:1-10.
Before we can recognize our need for Jesus, we must acknowledge that we are lost without him.
But then, look at the next two verses in Titus 3.
Titus 3:4–5(a) (NLT)
4 But - (as in BUT GOD!) “When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love,
5 he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy . . .
God gave us a way out, the only way out. Out of his kindness and love for us, he saved us, not because of anything we had done, but solely because of his mercy toward us.
Now, look at the three things God will do for us through our faith in Jesus Christ.
Continuing in Titus 3:5(b) (NLT)
5 . . . He (1) washed away our sins, (2) giving us a new birth and (3) [giving us] new life through the Holy Spirit.
That is exactly what we need for God to begin to transform our marriage;
1) We need our SINS washed away
2) We need a NEW BIRTH
3) We need NEW LIFE through the Holy Spirit
And that is precisely what God has done for us in Jesus Christ. However, we must put our full faith and full trust in him to receive this new life into our lives.
Have you done that? Have you put your full faith and trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord?
If we don't get this first step right, nothing in God's design for marriage will be right. Let's look at one more scripture.
Ephesians 2:8–10 (NLT)
8 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.
9 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.
10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
God has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
One of those “good things” God planned for you long ago, was for you to be joined together with your spouse as one flesh. That is what God created us for. But we cannot do that outside of a full surrender of our lives to Jesus Christ.
We need to be created anew in Christ Jesus for us to be able to be married as God designed us to be.
To get anything out of these twelve weeks, we must make two foundational commitments:
1) We must genuinely surrender our lives to Jesus Christ as our Savior and Lord.
2) We must commit to walk daily in the power of the Holy Spirit.
If you personally have not made those foundational commitments, nothing I say in the next 12 weeks will have any effect on you.
If you haven't received Jesus Christ as your Savior and truly surrendered your life to him as your Lord, I'd like to ask you to consider doing that right now.
Let's pray that Jesus Christ would give us new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.
“Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I’m a sinner. I know that my sin is damaging my marriage. Please forgive me. I believe that you died for me to pay for my sin. Please come into my life, be my Savior, and my Lord. Please give me new life through your Holy Spirit. I surrender my self-will and ask that you transform my life and my marriage. Thank you for saving me. In your name I pray, Amen”
If you have just put your full faith and trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, then he has saved you from your sin and given you the Holy Spirit to transform your life. CONGRATULATIONS!
Now we’re ready to move into "God’s Design for Marriage" . . . Next week.
But first . . . Homework.
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD HOMEWORK
COMMITMENT
We need to begin with some basic understanding and some initial commitments.
I Promise you - if you will keep your COMMITMENT
to BE here
to RECEIVE God's Word
to DO your homework . . .
Then God will give you the tools and the power to TRANSFORM your marriage.
We are going to go through twelve weeks of critical truths right out of God's Word, and I assure you we will see how God designed our marriages to work. However, unless you commit to be here - to receive God's Word - and to do your homework, you probably will not see any improvement in your marriage at all!
HOMEWORK
The homework portion is actually the most important part of this series. There is something special, even supernatural, about doing the homework with your spouse. It is unquestionably the most crucial part of the twelve weeks.
The homework is not just fill in the blanks homework that you can breeze through. The homework is designed to create a meaningful time of interaction with your spouse, focused on God's Word.
You may not be a “homework type” person, and you may even feel a bit awkward going through the homework with your spouse, but you have got to do it - it really is CRITICALLY important.
In your homework - I ask you to:
1) INTERACT with each other
2) WRITE down your thoughts from that interaction
3) JOURNAL a little bit on your own
For many of us - this might be the first time we have ever done anything like this with our spouse; if so, I promise it will be significantly meaningful.
You'll have two or three nights of homework a week, and that's a small price to pay for God to transform your marriage! Plus - it could start the marriage-transforming habit of devotional time with your spouse.
So - will you COMMIT to DO your homework? ________
PASTOR DAVE'S STORY
When I was in the 8th grade, I fell in love with my wife (as much as an 8th grader can “fall in love”), and we've been married 39 years. We went through high school together, and we went through some very difficult times together.
After high school, I left home for the streets of Hollywood and the music industry - and she wouldn't have any part of that.
But on April 29, 1979, God not only saved me from the streets of Hollywood but from an eternity separated from him. And three days later, he saved my love from the 8th grade.
Then, when we were 20 years old, that rocky high school romance turned into a God-ordained marriage. (1980)
God has blessed us with the greatest children in the world, two daughters and a son who are all married, and 10 incredible grandchildren!
Our daughters and their families live very close to us and are involved in our church in Nuevo. They are both fully committed to being wives and mothers, like the role model they had growing up.
Our son and his family serve God and our country in the U.S. Navy. David is a Chief Petty Officer FMF Corpsman with 2 tours with the Marines and 1 tour with the SEALS, based near us in San Diego, CA.
All three of my kids are married, and all three have had struggles in their young marriages. And Pam and I have had plenty of struggles in our 46+ years together (39 married), including times when we were in the ministry.
So, all that to say - we've been there. We’ve lived through the good and the bad, and we've seen God do miraculous things in our marriage and family.
So, as I share God's design for marriage with you, I'll try to illustrate it a bit with over 39 years of real-life marriage testimony.
There are people in marriages at every level reading these words. There are Pre-Marriages - New Marriages - Old Marriages. Marriages on the brink of divorce and those who have already been divorced. In fact, we know that the divorce rate inside the church is basically the same as outside the church - and it's for the exact same reason!!
Marriages fail both outside the church, and inside the church, because we are not following God's design for marriage!!
God designed marriage. He's the one who created it, and he designed it to work his way. And so, whether we are outside the church and not following God's design, or inside the church and not following God's design . . . Either way, our marriage is in the same rocky boat, because we're not following the design of the one who created marriage.
THIS IS NOT A SELF-HELP MARRIAGE IMPROVEMENT SERIES
The next thing we have got to understand before diving in is: This is not a "self-help" marriage improvement course.
Our purpose here is not for you to improve your marriage your way. It's us doing what we think is best for us that's gotten us into the mess we're in. The very worst thing you can do for your marriage is for you to continue to do what you think is best - for you.
We have got to put all our own ideas and all of our own opinions aside, and we've got to turn to God's design manual for the answers. And if we'll be open to his plan - and if we'll begin to put his plan to work in our marriages -- great things can happen!
We must put all our own ideas and opinions aside, and seek to know and receive God’s design for marriage only.
INTERACTION
Interaction is critical. You will be presented with a question like: "Will you commit to seek God's will and God's design ALONE for your marriage?" Then...
When you answer I want you to look at your spouse (if they are here) - every time I ask you to make a commitment, I want you to make that commitment looking right into their eyes.
I want you to re-state the question as a commitment to them. In other words, I don't want you to say "Yeah, babe, sure." I want you to look into your spouse's eyes and re-state the question as a commitment.
For example:
Question: Will you commit to seek God's will and God's design alone for your marriage?
Answer (looking at your spouse): I will commit to seek God's will and God's design alone for our marriage.
I understand that right now you may not be sure that you are willing to commit to God's will and God's design for your marriage. If you're not sure; please, be honest with your spouse. I don't want you to start this transformation process by lying to your spouse.
Please make whatever honest commitment you can currently make to your spouse. But please, speak the truth in love.
If you are hurting and unsure right now, try saying, “I’m hurting right now, but I will see this course through.” Be honest, but speak the truth in love.
Okay, now I want you to turn to your spouse and ANSWER this question with a commitment statement. Remember to re-state the question as a commitment.
Will you commit to seek God’s will and God’s design alone for your marriage?
Did you make this commitment to your spouse? _____
Now... let's get to some Bible study.
This may be the most essential message of the series. Because if you don’t get tonight, you can’t get God’s design for your marriage.
The problem will never be that God doesn’t have the power, the ability, or the desire, to strengthen, heal, and restore our marriages. The problem will always be that our SELF-WILL stands in the way.
God will not force us to have a marriage as he designed it. He will always wait until we are willing to crucify our self-will and surrender to his will and his design.
So, here is our first M.I.P. (Most Important Point):
The refusal to crucify self-will is at the root of every marriage problem!
- Let's go all the way back to the beginning of self-will.
- Then we’ll take a look at the beginning of man's troubles with self-will.
- Then we'll see if we might still have a problem with self-will
Let's start in Isaiah 14:12-15, in a section known as the FALL of Lucifer. Most scholars believe this portion of Isaiah is poetically describing the fall of Satan from Heaven.
We call this text: The 5 “I Wills” of Satan.
Isaiah 14:12–15 (NLT)
12 “How you are fallen from heaven, O shining star (NKJV says Lucifer), son of the morning! You have been thrown down to the earth, you who destroyed the nations of the world.
13 For you said to yourself, ‘I will ascend to heaven and (I will) set my throne above God’s stars. I will preside on the mountain of the gods far away in the north.
14 I will climb to the highest heavens and (I will) be like the Most High.’
15 Instead, you will be brought down to the place of the dead, down to its lowest depths.
Lucifer said, “I will, I will, I will, I will, I will.” And God said - NO you WON'T, and he threw him out of heaven.
What we really need to see is Lucifer’s determination to choose his will over God’s will. That is the sin of PRIDE in its ugliest form; demanding our will over God's will. And that is what got Satan thrown out of heaven.
Satan wanted to be like God. He wanted to be top-dog.
“I want my way over God’s way” is what got Satan thrown out of heaven... and that same tendency is at the root of our own sin nature.
Now let's look at what role SELF-WILL played in the fall of man in Genesis Chapter 3.
As you read Genesis 3:1-6, watch carefully for two things:
1) See how Satan (the serpent) seduces Adam and Eve into acting against God’s will.
2) See Eve’s logical reasons for choosing her will over God’s will.
Genesis 3:1–6 (NLT)
1 The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”
(A conversation with Satan often starts with Satan questioning God)
2 “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied.
3 “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’ ”
4 “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman.
(As you continue your conversation with Satan, he will always deny
God’s Word)
5 “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”
(Finally, Satan will always convince you to replace God’s truth with a lie)
6 The woman was convinced. (Satan convinces Eve to choose her own will) She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. (3 logical reasons to choose her will over God’s) (also the 3 classic temptations Satan uses; lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, pride of life) So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too.
It was self-will that got Lucifer thrown out of heaven. Then Satan seduced Adam and Eve into choosing their self-will over God's will.
They were convinced that their self-will was better for them than God's will. At its very root, the sin that caused the fall of Man was choosing self-will over God's will.
And so, how about us?
Choosing self-will over God's will always causes some level of a "fall," or at least a "stumble" in our marriage.
1) Has self-will ever caused problems in your marriage? _____
2) Do you see that self-will is at the very root of sin? _____
Session 1 M.I.P.
The refusal to crucify self-will is at the root of every marriage problem!
Satan convinced Adam and Eve to choose their own will over God’s will, rebelling against God in sin and causing the fall of man. Today, every man and woman suffers from sharing the resulting sin nature and making similar sinful choices.
However, there are two words that every Christian must embrace . . . BUT GOD!
The self-will that is damaging our marriage is at the very root of our sin nature . . .
BUT GOD has provided a way – the only way;
For our sin to be WASHED AWAY
For us to be BORN-AGAIN with a new nature
For us to live a NEW LIFE - as a new creation
And that one and only way is through a real, personal relationship with Jesus Christ. God has provided Jesus Christ as the ONLY answer to the sin of self-will.
Jesus Christ took upon Himself your sin, including your self-will, and he paid the full price required to free you from sin’s penalty and to give you the power to overcome sin.
If you will put your full faith and trust in Jesus Christ, as your Savior and Lord;
He will WASH AWAY your sin.
He will give you RIGHT STANDING before God.
He will give you the POWER to crucify your self-will every day!
Through your faith in Jesus Christ, he will give you his righteousness before God. Through your complete surrender to him, he will give you the power, by the Holy Spirit, to crucify your self-will. Which, in turn, will transform your marriage.
Through faith in, and surrender to, Jesus Christ, you can be saved and transformed into his image, which is exactly what your marriage needs.
Our self-will must be crucified, and we must be transformed, for God’s design to ever become a reality in our marriage.
And that truth is what gives God’s design for marriage the supernatural power to actually transform you and your marriage.
We’re not talking about relational psychology here. We’re talking about supernatural transformation. We're talking about changes that come from a new birth and a new life in Jesus Christ. Let’s look at Titus 3:3.
Titus 3:3 (NLT)
3 Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other.
We are utterly and completely lost without Jesus Christ. If this statement causes you to ‘recoil’ a bit, take some time to really dig into these scriptures: Romans 3:10-12, Romans 3:22-23, Ephesians 2:1-10.
Before we can recognize our need for Jesus, we must acknowledge that we are lost without him.
But then, look at the next two verses in Titus 3.
Titus 3:4–5(a) (NLT)
4 But - (as in BUT GOD!) “When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love,
5 he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy . . .
God gave us a way out, the only way out. Out of his kindness and love for us, he saved us, not because of anything we had done, but solely because of his mercy toward us.
Now, look at the three things God will do for us through our faith in Jesus Christ.
Continuing in Titus 3:5(b) (NLT)
5 . . . He (1) washed away our sins, (2) giving us a new birth and (3) [giving us] new life through the Holy Spirit.
That is exactly what we need for God to begin to transform our marriage;
1) We need our SINS washed away
2) We need a NEW BIRTH
3) We need NEW LIFE through the Holy Spirit
And that is precisely what God has done for us in Jesus Christ. However, we must put our full faith and full trust in him to receive this new life into our lives.
Have you done that? Have you put your full faith and trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord?
If we don't get this first step right, nothing in God's design for marriage will be right. Let's look at one more scripture.
Ephesians 2:8–10 (NLT)
8 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.
9 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.
10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
God has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
One of those “good things” God planned for you long ago, was for you to be joined together with your spouse as one flesh. That is what God created us for. But we cannot do that outside of a full surrender of our lives to Jesus Christ.
We need to be created anew in Christ Jesus for us to be able to be married as God designed us to be.
To get anything out of these twelve weeks, we must make two foundational commitments:
1) We must genuinely surrender our lives to Jesus Christ as our Savior and Lord.
2) We must commit to walk daily in the power of the Holy Spirit.
If you personally have not made those foundational commitments, nothing I say in the next 12 weeks will have any effect on you.
If you haven't received Jesus Christ as your Savior and truly surrendered your life to him as your Lord, I'd like to ask you to consider doing that right now.
Let's pray that Jesus Christ would give us new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.
“Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I’m a sinner. I know that my sin is damaging my marriage. Please forgive me. I believe that you died for me to pay for my sin. Please come into my life, be my Savior, and my Lord. Please give me new life through your Holy Spirit. I surrender my self-will and ask that you transform my life and my marriage. Thank you for saving me. In your name I pray, Amen”
If you have just put your full faith and trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, then he has saved you from your sin and given you the Holy Spirit to transform your life. CONGRATULATIONS!
Now we’re ready to move into "God’s Design for Marriage" . . . Next week.
But first . . . Homework.
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD HOMEWORK